A few things since moving in

Alyce has a job around the house now: she feeds and waters the cats. Just like that, she's old enough and completely capable (because let's face it: they probably won't die if she forgets for a day or two). We've had to accept a few puddles here and there, and the cats are receiving way more food than I would ever dole out, but no biggie. What I love the best about this is that I can think to myself, Oh crap, I forgot to feed the cats, and then remind myself, Oh, that's cool. Alyce will do it. Of course she will. Before I realize it I'll also be thinking, Oh crap, I forget to make dinner, and then remind myself, Oh, that's cool, Alyce can do it, Or, Oh, that's cool, Alyce can drive to the store and pick that up. Or, Alyce can choose her major at university. Gasp.

But for now she's still tiny. Matt has been sleeping most nights on the floor of the girls' room. A good habit, no, but in the face of all this change, and a few nightmares, what's a few weeks on the floor? One of the perks of having young kids: you are so unbelievably exhausted that you can sleep anywhere you please (or Alyce pleases). Or at least that's what Matt tells me. I wouldn't know because I sleep in our bed. (In case you're wondering, I've been waking up to breastfeed babies since 2007, so it's his turn to lose a tiny bit of sleep.) Sometimes Alyce starts complaining of feeling scared and I immediately start to roll my eyes (mostly on the inside, where she can't see them), because it is often simply a tactic to stay up later, but as soon as I remember that she is four, I can begin to imagine how complicated change is to a little one. She throws so much of herself into her world that she can't help but to get a little attached. I can see that she likes our new apartment, but I know she misses our old life, which mostly means she misses my mum. Shira, too, though mostly she's just concerned with the location of my breasts. If they're in Toronto, she's in Toronto, and she'll adapt as necessary.

Shira is Shira, which means she coasts through all of these changes pretty easily. Breastfeeding aside, she seems to adapt with little effort, a perk of being two. She's more concerned with other important tasks, like summer adventuring. She's currently checking off the following from her to summer do list: climbing on monkey bars and jumping, grin first, into a swimming pool. Matt, in case you were wondering, is also adapting well to our new surroundings. He is very happy to have finally relocated to Toronto, thrilled not to commute hours each day, and is grateful to be doing a job that he loves. That's a pretty special detail, isn't it? I saw an old friend tonight and he is also happily doing a job he loves. Isn't that the way it should be? Or can be, if we're willing to work at it? This is what I'm telling myself everyday, that no matter how much anxiety and panic I feel about starting all these new projects, that I can do this. This is how it should be.

I'd be lying (and I'm a terrible liar) if I told you that we were settled in, four weeks after our move. I've reached that stage that requires not just unpacking, but organizing and designing. I love both of these tasks (though I'm regretting having left my label maker in Delaware!), but I find them hard to do with two tiny beasts following me around everyday. Slowly it will all get done. Here is what I have left to do:

• hang remaining photos and artwork
• organize bookshelves that are destined to be filled with craft supplies, books, and some games
• clear off and find a home for all of the things that have found their way to the top of the fridge and bookshelves (more photos, menorahs, the rooster tea kettle I inherited from my uncle)
• clean and unpack our bedroom*
• finish washing floors and baseboards 

I won't be tackling everything this weekend, though I hope to get most of it out of my way by Sunday. What will you be tackling this weekend? Big projects? Little projects? Will you maybe even read a book? You're a wild one, aren't you? 

*Matt, of course, had his clothes and personal things unpacked roughly two hours after having moved in. So when I write "unpack our bedroom," I am only referring to my stuff. Matt would never be so careless. 

Preparations, or How will I clear off this dreaded table?

It's that time again, almost Friday night, which means almost Shabbat. This is what my dining room table looks like:

In honour of full disclosure, as per Knitty Gritty Homestead

Ahhh, moving. You think you'll be unpacked in a week and then you realize you've gone completely mad to think that anyone could complete more than one task a day with two young children under foot. And so here we are, a few hours from a very special night, and I've got some work to do. (At least the sunflowers are already in place. Fresh flowers are a must for this Shabbat table.) I'll see you back here next week, with some posts that I can't wait to share. In the meantime, I am going to leave you with the following summer to-do list, created by me and Alyce earlier today. It is a list of all the things she would like to complete before the end of summer vacation. May it inspire your own summer adventures.

Have the most wonderful of weekends! Report back, would you? I'd love to know how you enjoyed this July weekend.

And our move impressed a few others

I'm writing this on the "oh please let that never happen again"side of food poisoning (I made us a lovely dinner last night that I now deeply regret). Both Matt and I woke up over night with the dreaded pains and I won't go into any of the rest. Except to tell you that both parents suffering from food poisoning while attempting to parent a four and two year old is not easy. Matt and I were able to trade off all day, one barely watching The Children while the other collapsed in bed. All I keep wondering now is how single parents do it. How do they do it? We were so sick today and it felt unbearable to do things like make snacks or keep the room from spinning, and all the while I was able to depend on Matt, as sick as he was. So to single parents out there, that's a lot of work.

But enough about how terrible that was today. Let me tell you something exciting: our cats are no longer sequestered to a basement! The best place for the cats at my mum's place was the basement, a rather large and lovely, though still awfully dark, place. They were fine down there, fed and with room to lounge, but these cats are social beasts and they missed us. Matt and I would try to spend a little time each day with them, but it was never enough. Hille, the enormous one, likes to always be within arm's reach, and I think he was a little depressed these past eight months. Poor guy.

But now! They have embraced our new apartment as though it was their dream home. There are windows in which to collapse, rooms filled with bright sunny daylight, and a constant source of companionship, even if most of the time that means Alyce and Shira. It's only been a week but the change in their moods warms my heart, even if they smell of their food wafting through the house today did nothing for my poor stomach. It's been nice remembering why we adopted them in the first place. As truly annoying as they are, they are lovely just the same. It's been a good move all around.

I'm finally back from my move-induced break in posting, so I'll be back here tomorrow with some details about our move. I'll give you a hint: there are still many things to unpack, but boy do I not care. I am so happy to be back in Toronto that I'll take the boxes and the cleaning anytime (or for a week or two, at least).

Here we are, finally

My body is aching and my feet have quit on me, but we're here. We moved. We've said a good-bye to my mum and stepfather (though we'll happily reunite again when we visit in a couple of weeks) and a hello to a new start in Toronto. The girls are for the most part holding up amidst the chaos, only every so often succumbing to the emotional meltdowns triggered by too much change and too many boxes. Alyce clings to her sunflower seedling, I cling the knowledge that one day soon the boxes will be unpacked.

Life continues as usual it seems, even though all we're doing is unpacking. I wish there was a pause button I could reach for so that all the deadlines and responsibilities of life would just give me a few days There's also a heat wave going on around us making my hair enormous and the packing all that much more uncomfortable. But none of that matters. We made it. Here we are. Of course there is so much to do still, jobs to start, routines to develop (I'm learning the hard way that routines are golden), kitchen layouts to plan. My instinct tells me to unpack! Organize! Work! Plan! But between the chaos and the heat wave, sometimes you just need to searching for snails instead, and so we give in. The boxes will wait.

I'll be back soon. Just let me unpack myself out of this box over here. Also, if anyone knows where the other piece to my coffee maker is, Matt would really appreciate it. Until then he keeps finding himself in line at Starbucks before seven in the morning. 

And, we're off

On our way to Alyce's last day at school.

Today just felt different. Alyce seems to have loved Junior Kindergarten, and watching her develop friendships with the other kids has been my favourite part of this entire school process. But as much as she loves her friends, and most of the other kindergarten world of circle time, painting, and learning how to insert potty language at every turn, Alyce has almost every day of this school year asked to stay home with me and Shira. I think she feels left out of the party a bit, perhaps deducing from our body language and our secret handshakes that the two of us stay home all day playing princess and eating chocolate ice cream. (We'll never tell.)

Last day of school watermelon sundress courtesy of grandparents!

That is to say that Alyce is Excited for summer vacation. She's thrilled to have the entire summer ahead of all three of us, ready to dive into princesses and ice cream. I think Shira is completely game for Alyce's full time return. While I thought briefly that Shira might miss our time together, just the two of us, I'm fairly certain she's more interested in tagging along after Alyce. I have mixed feelings about the summer, I'll be honest. There's the question of how we'll fill our time for two months. But that's not quite it. I think one of the reasons this end of school year feels so momentous is that we've been waiting months to get back on our feet, out in the world, and that's happening in four days. Our move signals so many things: new jobs, new surroundings, new goals, new fears. After spending more than a year trying to get started fresh in Canada, it's finally happening. I want to jump head first into the awesomeness of all these new opportunities, but at the same time I don't want to scare it away. Some days I'm afraid that if I breathe too easily it might all disappear.

Pigtails courtesy of the softest blonde hair on the planet.

You see we're not crossing over into some fantasy land of high-paying jobs and job security. We are getting ready for a new start, but that doesn't mean it's easy. It feels so exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. What if our plans aren't enough? What if things fall out underneath of us again? What if we're unemployed in a year? Please just give me a moment to collect myself.

This summer. This summer contains the first steps of many our adventures. It marks my first real commitment to staying home with girls while I work part-time, a path I'm choosing because I want to, not because I need to (and I'm grateful to begin this new phase in the busy centre of Toronto). It marks my husband's return to academic life, and I'm fairly certain he's there to stay. It will mark the beginning of my new doula business, something I've been very quiet about while so many details are in the works (but I can't wait to share!). But when I put all of that aside for a moment, more than anything else the coming of another summer, another year, means that our little family has done it again. We're seen one member of our crazy household complete her first year at school. We've seen another one learn to talk. We've celebrated seven years together and five years married. Graduation certificates for everyone!

Bring it on, summer. Let's do this.

P.S. In honour of her last day of school, I packed jelly beans in her lunch. 

P.P.S. My mum and I are also taking her out for a celebratory pancake breakfast tomorrow.

P.P.P.S. And we're moving to Toronto in four days!

Have the greatest of weekends, everyone! 

Soon

In two weeks we'll be living in our new apartment.  We'll have been living her at my mum's for eight months. Add to that the two months me and the girls lived here while Matt was teaching in Europe, and that makes a long year for everyone. Can I just say an enormous thank you to my mother and stepfather? Thank you. We're a lot to handle some days, I know. We're loud, always in the kitchen, go through laundry at warp speed, and, the toys. But they have welcomed us unconditionally this past year and that has made my heart feel so much better.

We're ready to move (at least mentally, because, well, packing). Me and the girls have spent approximately 346, 234 hours in this house together, mostly while everyone else is at work. I can't lie, it's been a challenge some days. We're without a car while Matt is communting and in the suburbs that means you mostly hang out at home. We're only a few minutes away from Alyce's school and a twenty minute walk (an hour, kid-walk speed) from the library, so we're by no means stranded. But we aren't wandering around a city the way I'd like to be. Parents come in all shapes and sizes, but my preference is to keep moving, adventuring if you will. Alyce and Shira are excellent tag-alongs on an adventure, as long as I keep them in snacks and flower-picking breaks. We do best near water, in parks, museums, friends houses (can we come over?), and anywhere near good food. And while I haven't taken them to an outdoor music festival, I think their natural rhythm and near-constant urge to dance would make them feel right at home.

Now don't get me wrong. I love home. I love my mum's home and I'll love our new home in Toronto. I love slow mornings, hiding in bed reading books, or spending hours in the kitchen. Home is a good, good place. But you and I both know that feeling trapped in one place can challenge even the most homebody of homebodies. So we're getting set for some changes. We're packing. We're making plans. And I'm creating a very long list of adventures we'll take once we're back on the mothership in the city.
 

But for two more weeks we'll make our own fun here.

Breaking news in Canadian Immigration

This handsome American is now, very officially, a permanent resident of Canada! I repeat, he is a permanent resident. Last week we received the documents, headed to the border, and re-entered Canada as two Canada--loving residents. This means three things:

1. The handsome face can now start working.

2. He is now required, by law, to listen to the CBC.

And most importantly,

3. I filled out the forms correctly. All 37 pages. Take that, forms.

Vortex

It feels like more things have happened in the last two weeks than I can even begin to explain here.  Lucky for you I'm an oversharer, so I'll try my best.

If I had to chose a word to describe these weeks I would choose the word vortex, as in turbulent swirling and spinning around our little family, emphasis on us being stuck in the middle of it all. There is movement and chaos all around, both emotional and physical. Every few days or so I make everyone stop, just for a moment, so that I may account for all of our whereabouts. Shira's still here? Good. Is she eating dog food again? Gross. Whatever. Matt, you're doing ok? Have the girls driven you to madness yet? No? Yes? Probably? Alyce, you're four, right? You haven't had any other birthdays? Alright then, let's get back to it. 

Truthfully, the ground started spinning when we decided to make Canada home back in May.  There was moving in with mum while Matt taught in Europe, the beginning of my job search, moving into our new place, more job searching. There was junior kindergarten and recruiters (but not recruiters for junior kindergarten). There were immigration applications and waiting around for letters that tell us Matt can stay. Most of the spinning was fueled by my lack of job. After five months of looking unsuccessfully I took a job at a Large Bookstore that required getting up at 3:45 am in order to start the early shift of unpacking a thousand copies of The Help. That job was interrupted after only two weeks when I was offered a temp job in an office, that from this point forward will only be referred to as The Abyss of Misguided Souls (TAMS). It was not a nice place to work, and for the time being, I will leave it at. (Update: I have made changes here since the original post.)

So the other day I had had enough and I quit my job at The Abyss of Misguided Souls, but only after finding another part-time job and after telling my recruiting agency about the conditions at TAMS. There have been apologies issued, investigations launched, and most of all, I DO NOT WORK THERE ANYMORE! My heart feels lighter and my shoulders have relaxed a bit. For now I am happily working for my old boss who runs a delicious catering company and burger joint. She has offered for me a job for as long as I need it, with the freedom to drop it as soon as I find a permanent, full-time job. She is good people and I am grateful.

But there's more. After seven months of no income/low income, it was becoming difficult to support a household. Did you know that it is difficult to pay bills when you are making zero dollars an hour? Starting work at TAMS helped, but the salary didn't anywhere near cover what our family needed. Can I, just for a moment, let out a whimper over the last seven months? In the end being here is the right thing for our family, but it has not been easy. Between wanting to find a job that makes good use of my skills and experiences, waiting for Matt's immigration papers, and not having money to pay bills, the collective stress levels of our family were on the rise. And so the world kept on swirling and we moved back in with my mum and stepfather. They were generous and gracious and welcomed up back home. The move is almost complete and we are settling into our new space. Of course it's not easy some days, but it's what our family needs until we get ourselves settled in paying, non-terrible jobs.

I think that's enough about our little vortex for the time being. We are all well, moving forward, and just a little bit dizzy.

A Monday reminder

 

In the middle of the job searching and the figuring out of life, I am reminded why we decided to make this our home again. Sunday afternoon baking with Nana makes up for a lot of the other little headaches. 

So with this in mind, it's time to attack my Monday. Here is what is on my list for today:

• Find job
• More realistically, contact recruiter to set up interview Done and done!
• Apply to three jobs
• Make Shira's fifteen month well-baby appointment 
• Enjoy some cream of tomato soup that I made on the weekend
• Get excited for my weekly CSA box to arrive tomorrow
• Clear the evening schedule to watch last night's True Blood

What are your Monday plans? I'm feeling awfully motivated today, myself.

A little brave

I was awfully brave this weekend. First, I tagged along with my grandparent in search of garage sales. My grandmother is a connoisseur of garage sales (and by that I mean that she spends months finding gems at garage sales so that she can sell them at her own super-garage sale some day) and I stuck out like the novice that I am. She pointed out more than once that she would have only offered a quarter for what I offered fifty cents. For shame. Nevertheless she has taken me under her wing as I seek to rebuild the household we left behind. We're moving into a new place this week and we need more than a few things. Ok, we need almost everything. So it is with this commitment to finding lamps and dressers (and barbie horses, as I did this weekend) that led me to spend a morning driving around Cambridge with my grandparents, who bickered, argued, and complained like the seasoned bargain hunters they are. And sometimes my grandfather drove in the correct lane (don't tell him I said that please).

My next act of bravery was packing up both girls, by myself, and attending the baby shower of a good friend. I wasn't going to let Matt's shirking of parental responsibilities prevent me from celebrating the soon-to-be arriving wee Weiss, and mum and Brian needed a break from The Children, so off we went. It was chaos, as these things always are, but Alyce thoroughly enjoyed bossing Carmen around during the gift-opening, and Shira enjoyed eating stickers. Thanks, Carmen, for letting us crash your shower. Your belly is just perfect. Also, sorry about the two pounds of cake crumbs we left behind on the floor.

Last, but not least, my mother and I allowed my three-year-old to convince us that purple was the best colour for her new bedroom walls. Dark purple. Did I mention she's three? And choosing wall colour? But it makes her so happy.

I'd love to know how you spent your weekend. Did it fly by as quickly as mine did?

P.S. I'm watching Singing in the Rain for the first time ever. Oh, Gene Kelly, you're lovely.

Momentum

Alyce now declares on a daily basis that she would like to be a princess when she grows up. She is confident that will be a successful princess who does princess-type things, in a beautiful castle with a queen, king, and prince, and that Shira will also be a princess, but in a different castle, maybe next door. The cats will live with Shira.

Alyce is driven by something these days, something that fuels her princess-obsessed mind to do whatever it takes to achieve her goals (making crowns, wearing princess dresses and fancy shoes, arranging a special make-up room where she can spend her day applying princess make-up--pardon me while I sob in the corner over that one). It's commitment for sure, but it's also something else. Maybe it's momentum.

Momentum can be tricky, and not always a good thing (though in Alyce's case, I will happily support most princess-related activities because it makes her unbelievable happy). It was momentum that kept me a graduate student, and it was a force so strong that I'm still having some difficulty with my decision to leave grad school, even though I know it's the right thing for me to do. I don't really miss working on my dissertation, and I no longer want a future in academia, so I think it must be the strength of that momentum that keeps me looking back. I wonder just how much of what we do every day, and the choices that we make, are motivated by physics (it's physics, right, where they tell us that objects in motion want to stay that way unless acted upon? Newton? Has anyone ever describe that law as eloquently I have just done? I think not).

The pull of academia has always been strong in me. I was often pretty successful at school (except when I wasn't--I also failed quite successfully at times) and that alone propelled me to consider an academic future (the old 'since you can do it you should do it' philosophy I've come to resent). My family was so proud at what I accomplished in high school, and in the degrees that followed, and they always seemed so invested in my success. These expectations weighed heavy on me, even when I was grateful for their support. So, where they didn't finish high school, I did. And then I kept going. And going.

This is not to say that I ended up in a PhD program only because other people thought it was a good idea (even I have people-pleasing limits. No, really, I do). For many years I so enjoyed spending my days poured over books and I even sometimes enjoyed learning Sanskrit and Tibetan.* There are a lot of valid complaints about graduate school (resources, isolation, constantly feeling like a fraud, being used as cheap labour so that universities don't need to rehire permanent faculty), but there are some incredible perks to be had as a junior academic, like surrounding yourself with a community of people who love books as much as you do. That, and the freedom to do most of your work in your favourite coffee shop, if you please (and I pleased a lot). I was smitten with graduate school from the start.

But I should have spent a little more time asking myself how I really wanted to my future to look. I didn't ask myself at all, and instead listened only to that part of my brain that believed I'd come to enjoy writing papers for scholarly journals (I don't) or that I'd have no problem finding a permanent faculty position, in a department that also wanted to hire my PhD (in the same field) husband, in this fantastic job market. I didn't listen carefully enough to that part of me that knew academia wasn't for me, nor did I pay attention to those dreadful warnings about how tough it was going to be for 34,038 PhDs to fight for the 238 available jobs. Nope, I was on a path and I couldn't stray, or so I thought.

Momentum even beat out my other goals and dreams (small as they were) for a life that didn't involve becoming Dr. Professor in the study of religion. I have spent so much time daydreaming about doing something else (it rhymes with widmife), it's a little embarrassing that I staying in grad school so long. But for so long I trusted momentum over the courage I would need to find in order to do something else. I was moving forward, however slowly, and that force was almost all powerful. Thank goodness I met someone who talked some sense into me and suggested an alternate reality where I didn't become a professor just because I thought it sounded like a good idea when I was 20 years old.

So for those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile (thanks, by the way), you know that I finally put an end to all this last fall. But now, in this midst of all these crazy transitions, when everything feels as though it's hanging in the air, waiting to collapse at any moment unless I move forward with new decisions/opportunities/commitments, I'd love to find some new momentum. It's as though I turned my back on it last year and now it's giving me the cold shoulder. But I need some of that drive, some of that push, some of Alyce's vision, maybe, for a life where you could actually become a princess.

Sometimes she's awfully wise, that Alyce. One day I'm sure she'll make a benevolent, if bossy, princess.


*Though I was truly terrible at it.

I almost forgot Shira

Celebrating a free afternoon at Chapters.

Sundresses are the perfect way to show off squishy arms.

(The editor would like to point out her creamsicle painted toenails. Though she is still in need of a pedicure.)

Three is a lot louder than one. An obvious statement, I guess, but it doesn't make it any less true. Alyce has boundless energy and never holds back from expressing her opinions. Also, she can talk, so she gets heard a lot more often than Shira does. Shira sometimes overcompensates by screaming and grunting loudly for food when she's hungry (which is a lot of the time), but otherwise she sits happily in the background while Alyce weaves herself in and out of every lap and conversation in the room. I wonder how this will change as they get older. Will Shira continue to give high-fives from the sidelines, or will she wrestle Alyce for the spotlight sometimes? Probably a bit of both.

With Alyce in preschool three days a week (have I mentioned this yet?) I have been able to squeeze in a few hours with Shira where she doesn't need to compete with Alyce (not that she ever seems to mind). It made me long for those early days when Shira and I would spend hours laying in bed nursing and sleeping, reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels (me) and chewing on toes (Shira). Excuse me while my mind wanders into thinking about a third baby...

Anyway, back to forgetting Shira. I have been told that my grandmother once forgot my uncle, her youngest, in the old house on moving day. She had four other kids running around and her baby was still an infant, and in the chaos of the day, having herded everyone else out of the house, she left with her baby still sitting inside his seat in an otherwise empty house. Don't worry, they went back for him.

I kept this story in mind as we moved a few weeks ago. One can never be too careful.

A little tired. A little complainy.

We're all still adjusting to this crazy mess of a move. In case you were wondering, Shira's been able to sleep through the chaos. With just a few bumps, her sleep has been great. We even found her a new crib. It's been a big week.

Matt leaves for Poland this weekend, so I'm hoping to sneak in at least five naps before he leaves. Should I say that louder in case he didn't catch that? FIVE NAPS! One for every week that he is abandoning us. It's all starting to sink in now, that he's really leaving us for more than a month. I am so grateful that I'll have my mum around to help, but since she's at work until 6:00 every day, most of each day will just be me and the girls. I will now use this opportunity to solicit invitations from friends who would like to have us over for a visit. We are a crazy bunch, but we mean well.

I had a second interview last week for a job I'd really like to have. Fingers crossed please, internet. This world of job seeking and interviewing is so new to me and I'm not sure I like it. One of the perks of academia, at least for the stage I was in (i.e., not yet searching for a tenure-track position), was the way jobs had a way of finding me. Sometimes I'd have to submit a CV to a department chair, but other times the department chair would contact me and offer a TAship or even a part-time teaching contract. (Excuse me for a moment while I dodge the stink-eye coming my way from everyone else in the world who has had to find work the regular annoying way.) This is to say that my academic behind is being kicked by this new world of job hunting. 

I know. Poor me. But with the month I've had, and the move we've had, I'm just in one of those moods. But it's nothing a little nap can't fix, right Matty? In fact my mood is improving just thinking about it.

Happy Monday, everyone.

Scenes from a long week

It's been a long week, but I'm still so happy to be here. We aren't in a new house yet, so the move is sort of on temporary hold. I'm waiting to see where I find a new job (please please please let me find a new job), and then we'll make the final decision about where to plant ourselves down.  For now we wait it out at my mum's house, which makes for a very happy Alyce. You might have noticed that she's spending her time baking on Nana's back patio, in denim shorts and pearls. Somehow she's managing with all these transitions.*

I'm perfectly content with this arrangement. The move was so draining that I think I would have crumpled on the floor in a useless heap if I had to move into a new place on this end. For this short time I will enjoy spending time with my mum, enjoying some lovely wine and dinners in the evening when the girls are in bed. On my list today? Buying Shira a new crib. I also plan on making this. It can't be all job-hunting all of the time.

I hope everyone is enjoying a good week. Are you covered in rain like we are? If you live in the tornado-affected areas of the U.S., I hope you and those you love are safe and sound.

*Or I should say, she's selectively managing these transitions. There have been many moving-related meltdowns, as was expected. But wearing Nana's pearls takes the edge off.

Ten things I've learned about moving

1. Don't move.

2. Ok, I take that back. We all need to move sometimes, especially if it brings us closer to the people we love, but my feet still hurt, I'm exhausted, my brain is fuzzy, and I'm more than a little bit emotional. So while I can admit that this move was an excellent idea, I'm still a little mad at it.

3. You know that little story about the animal friends, where one works hard to make all the necessary preparations for winter, storing food and good books (probably) for the long, cold season ahead, while the other wastes away his time eating good food, lounging with the paper, and not making any preparations? So we all know that the eager preparer laughs his way through the hard season while the other suffers in his own pathetic procrastination. Are you still with me? Good. I certainly tend to fall in the procrastination camp, but I also like to organize and make lots of lists. Deep down I really want to be prepared. I tried very hard with this move, realizing early on that this move was going to drain all of us (the distance, the details, the immigration, the madness) and I was on a good path to an organized packing job. Then all hell broke loose and two days before the scheduled moving day we had to start all over from the beginning.

4. On a related note, it turns out that I very much dislike customs.

5. Without going into too many details, because I'm trying to heal and move on, I can tell you that it is not easy to reorganize a move in two days. Canceling moving trucks, opening all of the packed boxes in a frantic attempt to decide what to keep (and what will fit in the cars) and what to get rid of, is a little draining. And crazy. In the end we gave away or sold ninety percent of our belongings. Yes, you read that right. All furniture, almost every book, all dishes, Alyce's bed and tricycle, Shira's crib, cosleeper and highchair. When I say almost everything, I mean it. In two days I was desperately sorting our lives into piles of keep and give away, and it wasn't easy. Of course we saved all of our photos and prints (but no frames), clothes, all of Alyce's non-board books, the special toys, and those beautiful things we received at our wedding. And yes, of course I kept my mixer (and all important baking accessories). And my sewing machine. It's all about priorities.

6. Moving is an emotional business, and I knew that already. But this move kicked my emotional ass. It's one thing to purge your house of unused things that do little more than collect dust. It's another thing entirely for your husband to ask you, "Can you wake up Shira and take apart the crib she is currently using so that I can give it away in about twenty minutes?" Yes, we'll get a new crib--Shira won't be forced to sleep in the shed. But it's not easy. We all like our stuff.

7. But in the end it turns out that all you really do need are the people (and cats) you love, a few clothes, a few books, and a mixer.

8. After the chaos of re-moving, Matt and I got in our separate cars and drove 12 hours. Shira, Hille, and Pomegranate drove with Matt, while I partnered up with Alyce and Lucy. Part of me was dreading my first solo-parenting car trip, but things worked out, as they often do in these situations (except at customs), and we had a wonderful drive. Alyce and I had plenty to talk about and here is a sampling of topics:

• I'm not driving fast enough
• I'm driving too fast
• I'm driving the wrong way
• Are we there yet?
• Look at the sunset!
• What's a sunset?
• Is Lucy still in the car?

9. It was a hard few days, probably some of the most difficult we've faced. But we're a good team and we made it in one piece. Hille struggled the most, wanting desperately to be sprawled on a bed instead of stuffed in a box, but even he is recovering, sprawled out on a bed somewhere. Matt and I didn't yell too much, and I only cried twice.

10. Finally, I learned that I have an incredible friend, with incredible sorting-packing-brainstorming-and bringing us lunch-skills. I am so, so grateful for her help and might have plunged into complete despair without her. Sorry for the madness, Dani. We send our biggest hugs.

one woman army

I need to be a one woman army today. The move, as moves do, has exploded on me. Plans changing left and right, and still there are babies and children to entertain. So fortunately for me I found this shirt while packing a few days ago. Purchased way back when at the Toronto Women's Bookstore, it no longer fits my post-two-babies body, but damn it, I need today.

I'll be back once this mess is all over with!

An awfully big Monday

Here is my Monday to-do list for today:

• get rid of nasty head cold that appeared out of nowhere
• nurse Shira, suffering from same head cold, back to health
• sell some furniture on craigslist
• pack up some of the kitchen and the toys
• tackle that pile of paperwork that is threatening to smother us in our sleep
• have a really long nap

So that last one might not happen, but I am determined to be in bed by 8:30 tonight. I was out late last night, partying as usual (ok, so I went on a movie date with a friend. Bridesmaids is fabulous and you should probably go see it tonight) and now I'm dragging myself around this to-do list. 

There is an unbelievable amount of things to do before Thursday, when we will pack all these boxes and bits and pieces into a moving truck. And of course because I'm like this, I still have some working hanging over my head that needs to be finished before we go. Whenever things get crazy like this I just want to sit down and knit. But instead, I will need to power through and get all this done.

Have I mentioned that Alyce is in daycare this week? (Yay!)

Any good packing strategies?

Somewhere in Philly there is a giraffe wearing a purple hat

Oh, hi there.

Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but I have been around here much this week. I have three excuses for you. I think they're good ones.

1. Blogger was down for some reason. But that only accounts for one day.

2. I had a job interview to prepare for. It was my first interview ever that wasn't for a job serving beer or fancy dinners. But that's for another post.

3. Oh, and I'm moving permanently back to Canada after three years of going back and forth between two countries. In six days.

A lot has happened this week in the meantime. There was a first birthday, anxiety about the job interview, a trip to the zoo, baking these incredible cookies for a farewell lunch with a good friend (my farewell!), and the usual chasing after my children. I'll be back with some of these details soon. Right now I'm off to do some packing. A lot of packing.

I'll leave you with my favourite photo of the week. At the zoo on Wednesday Alyce wore her favourite purple hat, a recent gift from her Nana. I guess the urge was just to powerful, because the second my back was turned, Alyce thew her purple hat over the fence into to giraffe enclosure. Of course she did. 

Slightly organized chaos

This week has been all over the place. To give you some idea, I have experienced the following emotions in the past seven days: excitement, frustration, love, panic, fear, anxiety, contentment and hunger (for me, hunger counts as an emotion). There is just so much going on around me right now in order to make this permanent transition to Canada. And then there is the job search, planning for the summer, planning for Matt's abandonment of his family while he traipses around Poland, and the fact that my baby turns one next week. Pardon me while I lie down a minute.

Adding to our crazy, yesterday Shira tumbled down a long flight of basement stairs. Somehow she's just fine, with only a little rug burn on her head to show for her adventure. Matt and I were probably  more shaken up than she was, and we coped the best way we know how: dessert.

One of the highlights of our week was the Wilmington Flower Market. It was an unexpected surprise, an afternoon spent wandering around a market complete with carnival. Alyce enjoyed some of her first rides, triumphantly reaching the three feet height requirement (with an inch to spare, even). Between the rides and baby farm animals, Alyce didn't think her day could get any better. That is until she saw the fairy wings.

Our weekend plans include packing, cupcake baking (I'll use this recipe), and a birthday party for Shira and her friend, Finley, on Sunday afternoon. There will also be some Mother's Day sleeping in and breakfasting in bed! 

What are your weekend plans? If you haven't spent enough time online this week, let me help out:

Joanna Goddard's Friday lists on A Cup of Jo never disappoint.


A new place to store things you love.


Will I make this? I think I will. I have such a soft spot for birds.


I also want to make this. I think I might have a problem.


Have a great weekend!