Confessions of Lazy Recycler

Only moments after taking this photo I found two more in the kitchen.

Since returning from Canada at the end of December, life has been such that cleaning has been a low priority around here. I'm in class every day, Matt is preparing for a new semester of teaching and working on a ton of applications for next year, and have I mentioned that Shira's not sleeping well?

Our house is so teeny tiny that cleaning, and just as importantly, tidying, is necessary for survival. But lately we have felt so overwhelmed by life that very little has been cleaned and even less has been put away. Don't get me wrong: we "keep house" everyday, what with the laundry and dishes our family of four produces (don't even get me started on the toys). But we have not given any attention to those small, though necessary, acts of putting things away when we come home at the end of the day. So on our counters you would have found at least a week's worth of notes and drawings from Alyce's school, empty snack cups, and multiple sets of hats and mitts; at the front door you'd have tripped over the fifteen pairs of shoes we kicked off at the end of each day; and on the bookcases you would have seen high piles of all those little things that Alyce passes us all day long (markers, beads, unicorns, rocks, tiny pieces of paper, half-chewed carrot sticks). And mountains of dust. I say you would have found because today I reached my limit of chaos and spent the afternoon cleaning the house. Usually I turn to the kitchen and cook or bake away my frustrations, but today I needed to move. Shira sat in the middle of the room while I puttered through the house putting everything away in its place or in the garbage. How glorious a clean house feels. Sadly, though, there are no cupcakes. I'm starting to rethink my decision to clean over baking.

All of this is really just to tell you that in my efforts to clean this afternoon, I finally decided to face that long-overdue pile of recycling. Our run-of-the-mill recycling happens every day (thanks to Matt taking it out to the bin each night), but one pile has been ignored for weeks now. We buy our eggs from the local food co-op, and these eggs come from a local farmer (in the summer we can buy from him directly at the farmer's market). He reuses egg cartons, so the expectation is that we return our cartons each week when we pick up new eggs. I have failed, failed, failed with my egg carton returns (it might have something to do with the fact that I always have at least one child on top of me when I'm running out the door and making room in my arms for egg cartons ranks as a low priority). We go through a lot of eggs since we don't eat meat in our house and because I do so much baking, so this is how I ended up with sixteen eggs cartons on my table today. In honour of putting things away, I collected all these eggs cartons from the kitchen and moved them to my car. I'm certain that I'll bring them to the co-op any day now.

May your day be filled with similar achievements! How exciting.

Plan B

So the joining of two sisters didn't work out exactly as we'd planned.

We had thought (hoped) that Shira would adjust to some lengthier sleep cycles once she moved in with Alyce. Since Shira always seemed to stir (which would often lead to waking) when we came to bed or got up to yell at a cat, we thought she might sleep better without these distractions. Maybe she'd even be comforted by the presence of her big sister! Yes? No.

Last night was our third attempt at Shira and Alyce in the same room. After Shira woke up screaming for the third time before it was even ten, and because I found Alyce in her bed, softly crying, with her hands over her ears, I decided to get over myself and bring Shira back in our room, or more specifically, into our bed (since her crib was now in her new room). Matt was asked nicely to sleep on the couch (or he got the hint when we arrived home later that night and found our bed full of baby), and Shira and I spent the night awake in our bed, she, poking my eyes and eating her sleep sack, and me, begging the child for sixty minutes of sleep. In a row. By morning it was settled: Shira needs to learn how to sleep, and she needs to not do it with poor, tired Alyce in the same room. So right now Shira is sleeping in the portable crib that is set up in our room, and will do so until she can go a few hours without waking up to yell at us. It's one thing to feel this miserably tired, and another thing entirely to feel this miserably tired while arguing with an equally miserable three-year-old.

I should mention here that in order to have the girls share a room, we needed to switch bedrooms. Alyce and Shira now have the big room, while Matt and I squeeze into the small room. The crib and the bed couldn't fit in the smaller of the two rooms and we were happy to give them some extra room for tea parties and the like. But you see where I'm going with this? Alyce is now enjoying the very large room all to herself, while the three of us are wedged in the other. Alyce's grin is threatening to overtake her face.

So now we are in many ways back where we started, faced with a baby who won't sleep. I am so tired that I can't even waste any energy on being pessimistic about all this (though I can't make any promises about how I'll feel tomorrow). I know that Shira will learn how to sleep and we'll do whatever we can to encourage it. I'm now at that silly stage of tired. I am giddy and vulnerable, a dangerous combination for sure.

For those of you who sent messages and comments of encouragement, thank you so much!

Ten Things I've Learned About Sleep

Sporting her new sleep sack, Shira taunts me with a little daytime sleeping.

1. Sleep is the like the best friend you took for granted, who has moved on to bigger and better friends, and now taunts you at every turn. In spite of the meanness, you desperately want to be friends again, and you'll do whatever it takes. Suddenly I'm back in seventh grade, and now I'm weeping in the corner.

2. Smug, second-time parents should take a moment before proclaiming how easy it was to get their first child to sleep through the night. They ought to realize that the second child, no matter how delicious in other regards, will certainly make it her goal to wipe said smugness from their faces. And she'll do it around three in the morning.

3. I am not above the odd temper-tantrum (don't tell Alyce) in the early hours of morning, when Shira, after two hours and twenty minutes, is still barking after you've done everything, short of handing her the moon, to get her back to sleep. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a moon delivery to make.

4. I am also not above kicking my husband under the covers when the other child is crying. The deal in our house is that the one with the boobs gets up for Shira, and the one without gets up for Alyce. It rarely works in my favour, but you can be sure that when it does, I'm not wasting one iota of potential sleep, not even for a more civilized shake of the arm. It takes too much energy, and I am well beyond civilized at this point.

5. That after the second half of my pregnancy with Shira, and the eight months since I gave birth to her (about thirteen months) of not sleeping through the night, wherein the last of two of these months 'not sleeping through the night' usually means up nursing every two hours, I am so tired that I have lost the ability to exercise an ounce patience on individuals who insist on crawling through the grocery store at the pace of a sloth. I might just lose my mind.

Even Alyce moves better than eighty percent of other shoppers. Here, she's helping me out at Trader Joe's. And yes, she's wearing a tutu.

6. I am willing to trade chocolate and kettle corn for some sleep.*

7. Did I mention that we have been sharing a room with this sleepless, barking baby for eight months? This makes letting her 'cry it out' a little tricky, since you are in bed a foot away from her. It's as though she has actually crawled into your ear and is yelling at your soul.

8. That after eight months of sharing a room with our little sleep tyrant, we are ready to pass her along to her big sister. Alyce and Shira are now roomies. We had always planned on them sharing a room (since we like the idea and because our desire for a large family is not matched by the income required for as many bedrooms), but our lack of sleep may have influenced us to move a little too quickly. If it was a challenge to let Shira cry it out in our room, it's a bit of a disaster to let her cry in a room with Alyce. Because then Alyce cries. And then I cry.

9. Even after a night filled with screaming, crying, disruptions, hurt feelings and more crying, the girls don't seem to hold even the tiniest of grudges come morning. Alyce, who was entitled to some grudge holding, was just as excited to see her baby Shira in the morning. There were smiles all around.

10. Parents do hold grudges.

*Keeping in mind that I will resume the eating of chocolate and kettle corn once sleep has been had. I'm no hero.

Last Week is Over

It was a tough one and a long one, but it's done, done, done. Two Praxis exams and a non-sleeping baby later, and I'm still around to tell the tale. In honour of such a difficult week, Matt and I decided that it was the perfect time to move the girls into the same room! Are we insane? YES!

I will share more details later in the week, because my brain shut down around four-thirty this morning when I was entertaining Shira, now known as "the baby who might be raised by the cats from this day forward." The cats would be terrible parents, I'll admit, but I'm just tired enough that I'm seriously considering it. Hille would want to be a good parent, but he scares and tires easily. Lucy might have the skills necessary but usually uses these skills for evil, not parenting. And Pomegranate just doesn't care.

So more coming tomorrow. For now I'll just say that Alyce has been incredible with her new roommate, even when said roommate screams at regular intervals through the night. Tonight, as Shira was fighting sleep with her (as of lately) usual screaming, we heard Alyce singing her a lullaby. Of course it made Shira even angrier (because she didn't want Alyce to ever stop singing), but Alyce now holds the world record for best big sister of all time.

Celebrating her new title with some well-deserved hot chocolate.

My wish for everyone, but especially for me, is a wonderful night's sleep. Good night everyone!

I've Been Sleeping

You know how sometimes your body crashes, and you just can't stop it, no matter how much you need to study or do linguistics assignments or look after your children? That happened to me this week. My body shut down, I shut down, and I napped. Yesterday I napped for three hours in the afternoon (thanks, Shira). For those fortunate enough to read my daily status updates on facebook, you'll know that Shira has not slept through the night for months, and by not sleeping through this night I mean waking up every two hours to nurse. I'll be talking more about this next week, because I need to talk through the pain.

But I'm just here right now to say that I'm hiding away, sleeping and studying. My second and final exam is this weekend. Take that, Praxis.

Eight Months

And here is where I begin to wonder where the past eight months have gone. I know this happens every time a baby is born, I know babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers and large people, but why does it have to happen to MINE? Didn't we just get her? And could she be any cuter? I think not.


So happy eight months, Shira Clementine. May this be the month you learn to sleep through the night. I'll even let you learn how to crawl (and so making the daytime a lot more difficult for your parents) if you'll just let me sleep. See how generous I am? Just think of all the fun you'll have chasing the cats and your big sister (and then think about all that glorious sleep just waiting for you each night). I think you'll agree that this is an excellent offer.

I Can Speak Math!

I've been a little beaten up by an afternoon of test-taking, but I'm happy to report that I didn't fail! I was confident that I'd reach the required score for reading and writing (thank you thousands of tuition dollars), but the math? It wasn't pretty. But who needs pretty when you can get four points higher than you even need? It's like I had some spare points, in case someone else needed them. You need some math points? I don't mind sharing!

I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the person who invented computers, and the person who invented this computerized test (you'll see where I'm going with this in a second), and then the person who realized it would be a good idea for the computer to give you some of your test scores as soon as you're done writing, so that you don't freak out for three weeks waiting for the mail. Because then you can rush home and tell your family! And the internet!

Now, for some rest. No, actually, it's not time for rest. I have a second test this weekend. But it is a math-less test, so bring it on.

Thanks for all the good thoughts this today!