I dare you to remain cynical

Shira, sleep in the car, still clutching some of her Valentines.

 

A few peg dolls for my Valentines. Inspired, as always by We Bloom Here.

Just a selection of Valentines made for us by Alyce.

Alyce's homemade cards for all her school friends.

I know Valentine's Day sparks anger and resentment among many. I get it, I really do. We don't need to spend a ton of money on cards, chocolates, toys, flowers, silly gifts, and the like, to let others know that we're sweet on them. We certainly don't need yet another reminder that our society privileges a certain kind of love. But at this point in my life I am surrounded by tiny people who adore Valentine's Day with such excitement and urgency that I refuse to stand in its way.

I know you don't need another blog telling you to make your life more difficult by making everything from scratch. You don't need to feel guilty (again) because you used store-bought vegetable stock in your soup. But if you'll allow this one simple suggestion: handmades for Valentine's can rock your world. There is nothing cynical about children slaving passionately over construction paper hearts and markers, tongues stuck out in deep concentration. And do you know what Alyce gave me for Valentine's day, in addition to no less than six homemade cards? A bracelet she found in her room. She loved giving it to me, and I loved receiving it.

In our house we make cards for every occasion. Is it a Tuesday? Make a card. Is our friend Kaylie coming over for lunch? Make her a card, too. Is it someone's birthday? Let's make ten. We keep a basket of the necessary tools on our table at all times (so that I'm not constantly fetching the scissors and glue at every turn) and we can make a card at a moment's notice. So a holiday devoted to extra card making? We're not going to turn that shit down.

Am I saying that store-bought cards are bad? Of course not. We love them! Alyce has a box of twenty-seven Valentine's Day cards from her school friends and most of those are from a store. She adores them (and sleeps with them in her bed), and we are grateful to receive well-wishes from a friend in any form. Please don't read this is a manifesto against The Store. But I am saying that if you are feeling awfully crabby and hopeless in the face of all the extra consumerism this week, stock up on some extra construction paper next year and stay away from the shops. Sit yourselves down and with some paper and glue (and some glitter if you're feeling especially brave), and make yourself a card.

And by all means, don't wait for Valentine's Day. Tuesday is coming up and if there's a better reason to make a card, I don't know it.
 

My little sister and brother making hearts, Vancouver-style (thanks, Kate).

Tu B'Shevat

Today is Tu B'Shevat, a relatively minor Jewish holiday, but a holiday nonetheless. Alyce and I rarely pass by the opportunity to make a craft, so in our house we love these days. Tu B'Shevat is special to me for non-craft reasons, too, because it was the first Jewish holiday I celebrated once I had begun my conversion to Judaism. In January 2006, after a few meetings with our rabbi, Matt and I signed up for a year long course on Judaism. It was a requirement for conversion and needed to be done before I could go before the beit din, or Jewish court, and formally convert. Tu B'Shevat is one of four Jewish New Year's, and this particular new year's celebration is for the trees! Technically this is a day to mark the age of trees for tithing purposes (and is introduced in the Talmud), but now those who celebrate Tu B'Shevat use the day as a chance to give thanks for the fruit and nuts that grow on trees (especially those that grow in Israel). It has also been used as a springboard to discuss contemporary ecological issues, so for a minor holiday, there is still a lot to work with!

We used the coming of Tu B'Shevat to spend some time learning about trees, taking walks in the woods (we have another one scheduled for after school with Alyce), and, of course, making things. The tree in the first photo above is my childhood tree located around the edge of the old cemetery behind my house. My friend and I each had our own tree, mine named Fred, hers named Harry, and we spent hours in them. Hours. I still visit it, and sometimes I even find a tree fairy poking around. Can you spot her? She's the one that resembles a puffy blue marshmallow with rosy cheeks.

Alyce and I made a tree painting that we covered in pictures of fruit that we drew. I painted a large tree trunk and then she went to town with the leaves. While we were busy tree-making, Shira painted her own hands blue. Before dinner last night Alyce and I hung the painting on the front door, waiting for Matt to come home and find a surprise. Just for the record, internet, the man walked up to the house, opened the door with the enormous blue poster board painted with an enormous tree, and didn't notice it at all. Alyce and I sent him right back outside to take proper notice, Which he did, and he loved it, of course. Alyce declared this morning that it is never coming down, so he'll have many opportunities to enjoy it.

For a few more tree-inspired crafts, check here.

For those of you celebrating, I hope it it's a lovely Tu B'Shevat where you live!

Knit hat: done and done

Remember that other knitting project I mentioned having in mind once I was finished with the blanket? My first hat! Alyce loves, it was so easy to knit, and now I'm hooked. I'm already working on another one for a friend's little one. The hat I chose was from this book, one suggested to me by the knitting wizards at Loop in Philadelphia, as a great beginner book to learn knitting for kids. I did not make the hat Shira is wearing (it is courtesy of Mexx Kids), but I was forced to include her photo because she is far too delicious to ignore. I tell you, her cheeks are as soft in real life as they appear in photos.

For my littlest one

I finished it. I finally finished it. I started this blanket as my second-ever knitting project with the help of my friend, Heidi, and I'm so happy with it. It's taken me months to finish, but Shira finally has her very own blanket. There is something awfully lovely about making something for another person, and something extra lovely about making something for your baby. I think she likes it.

Now to begin the next project!

First Day

I was kidding myself thinking this wasn't a big deal.

Not that I wasn't excited for her, and not that I didn't do a zillion things in preparation for this morning (more on that later), but I quite successfully ignored that pit in my stomach warning me that this was a big deal. It's enormity smacked me in the face this morning as I found myself crying, standing outside a classroom door, listening to my little one sobbing on the other side. SOBBING. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start this story last night, where I found myself on the couch watching the finale of True Blood while sewing a bunch of felt hearts.

I got the idea last week that it would be nice to send Alyce to her first day of Kindergarten with some extra love in the form of tiny felt hearts, and of course I didn't start this ambitious project until last night after nine. I might have started around eight, but instead I spent an hour puttering in the kitchen packing Alyce's lunch and snacks for today. Should it take a person one hour to make a three-year-old's lunch? Probably not. But should I send strawberries or melon, or both? And will she be able to open her new sandwich box all on her own? And is turkey and applesauce and a muffin really enough for snack? I know what you're thinking: snap out of it. But last night all these decisions felt huge. I made her a packed lunch for years at daycare, but something about the big-kid lunch at Kindergarten sent me over the edge. B when it was finally time to make the hearts I was comforted by the knowledge that both Eric and Alcide would be on television with her for an entire hour. It helped. I couldn't wait to give them to her in the morning. My big girl was going to school!

We've been talking a lot about school over the past few weeks, and last week she met her teacher. We got the backpack, the lunch bag, the new shoes, some new clothes. We were set. So it was no surprise that she woke up a little excited this morning. I was excited right along with her. I excitedly gave Alyce her new hearts, sewn with love by the woman who gave birth to her, and after a quick glance she threw them on the floor. Instead she wanted to make pancakes.

I got over it. I made pancakes.

We had a lot of time at home before school this morning (as happens when you start the day on the wrong side of six), and we coasted along as usual: breakfast, getting dressed, some Dora with her sister. A few different times she would get quiet and tell me that she didn't want to go to school, but the rest of the time she was her usual bouncing-through-the-house self, declaring that she would a great student. Again, I should have sensed that it was coming. I should have known that the bounce in her step was just buying some extra time before her realization (and mine) that school was really happening, that it was no longer just talk. Sometimes we can be so silly.

All morning I kept asking her if she wanted to keep one of the hearts in her pocket. That way you can keep it close, I said, and know that Mama is thinking about you. And every time she just shook her head. Eventually she agreed that she'd keep them in her backpack, just in case she needed them. She might have even rolled her eyes. We said good-bye to Papa and Shira and headed out the door. Walking from the car to her classroom door I couldn't stop smiling at how ridiculous she looked with her big backpack. How could this tiny creature of mine be ready for school? Wasn't she just living inside my uterus? There just has to be more time between uterus and Kindergarten, right? I could feel the collective shock of mothers and fathers all around me, as we all quieted down long enough, above the background noise of new clothes and new friends, to realize that our little ones were about to take a really big step all on their own.

That's when it started. Alyce's excitement turned to holding my hand, which turned to wrapping her little arms around my neck, which is when the tears began. The school bell rang and her teacher called them all into class, just the kids, not the parents. In a panic Alyce started pulling at the zipper on her backpack, twisting her arms around trying to get it off her back. And then I realized. She wanted her hearts. Maybe I just need one in my pocket, she said. She chose a tiny purple heart, put her backpack back on, and started sobbing. SOBBING. All the other kids were in the classroom now, everyone but my Alyce. Her teacher came over and told Alyce softly that it was time to go. Alyce continued to cry, and it wasn't that annoying whiny-cry that kids do when they aren't getting their way. She was doing the ugly-cry, the one that comes from a deeper place. Her teacher took her hand out of mine and led Alyce inside. She'll be alright, Danielle, she said. And I knew she would be, but at that moment my heart broke for Alyce. No matter how much fun she'll have today, and no matter how excited I am for her, that sadness was real. And no matter what I do, I can't protect her from those feelings. Fortunately, there will be other feelings today, too.

Maybe I knew all along that today was going to be big, and that she'd need those little hearts.

We paint

What do we do on Labour Day? We paint. And then I dump The Children into the kitchen sink and hose them down. Shira only ingested a few cups of paint (give or take) and thoroughly enjoyed her first real painting day. In fact she liked it so much that she screamed and threw down her little body when it was time to clean up. You, in India, you heard her right? That's my girl, nothing if not an eager painter.

You'll notice that Shira is painting in a white shirt. Smart, no? Alyce and I had painting aprons, but none for Shira. So now I have a sewing project. It won't be stylish, it might not be pretty, but it will be made with love. Speaking of projects, I'm almost (well, mostly) finished the blanket I'm knitting for Shira. I'm using a Purl Bee pattern that is, as promised, very easy, but it takes forever. I am confident, however, that Shira will love it, and then I can get started on their sweaters. With any luck they'll be finished before the end of winter. I've decided on a oatmeal colour for Alyce and a soft blue for Shira. I'll keep you posted!

What projects are you working on? I'm hoping to get a lot done on the blanket tonight while watching Bridesmaids with Matt. I've seen it before and I'm still laughing about it. I think I'd like to be friends with Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig.

When not looking for a job

The past few days have felt all-consuming, but really, they wasn't that much going on. Sometimes it feels as though not having a job is a lot of work. I feel as though I ought to be looking for work every second of the day, and since of course I'm not looking for work every second, I am very busy feeling very guilty that I'm not. You following me? Me neither, so yesterday afternoon I went to see a movie. By myself. To cope. Anyway, besides looking for work, my days are filled with the usual things. Like bathing Pomegranate because there was poop stuck to his tail. 

It is indeed a glamorous life.  Pomegranate really needs some professional grooming (Pomegranate, besides sometimes being a bit of a jerk, is also a lazy groomer. A sweet, lazy groomer), but cat grooming is not currently in our budget. He was a good sport about it, and had the full moral support of Hille, who is in love with him. Hille does indeed have a head, but he's too busy trying to lick Pomegranate to worry about camera time.

There was of course more dress-up. This Cinderella costume is her favourite, but it's a bit scratchy and not made of niece material. I'm planning on asking a friend's mother to make a new one for Halloween. Halloween is still a couple of months away, but we're already planning. Alyce will be a princess, I will be a princess, Matt will be a King, and last I heard Shira will be a bee. At least this is what Alyce declared this week. (Liz, if you're reading this, I think that toy in Alyce's mouth is something she swiped from camp this weekend. Sorry about that).

And there was colouring. A lot of colouring. I love watching Shira try so hard to be like her sister. I think she enjoys colouring in her own right, but there is nothing she loves more than to park herself near Alyce in a full-on colouring session. Shira spends a lot of time drawing on herself with markers, and often loses the caps, but most of the time Alyce is happy to have a craft partner, and I foresee years of Alyce passing down her crafty secrets to an eager Shira. Sometimes it will seem more like she's just being bossy, but I like to consider it more in the line of transmitting secret knowledge. Alyce just transmits loudly and firmly.

Wouldn't you like to join with some colouring? We have lots of projects to do this week. Tomorrow is my grandmother's birthday and we'll spend some time making her a card. I also came across these tiny hearts and I'm hoping to make a few over the weekend. There is something so lovely about sending Alyce to school with a little heart in her pocket. Did I mention she starts school next Tuesday? Oh, I'll be mentioning that a lot in the coming week. Because she's GOING TO SCHOOL. What?

Does anyone have a suggestion about things I should do while I'm still unemployed? The only requirement is that it can't cost a lot of money. You know, so we can save for the cat grooming.

Evolution of a Painter

I hope some of her spirit rubs off on me.

P.S. Her belly was stained pink for two days.

In the garden

 

Alyce and I kept busy on Wednesday afternoon creating some garden fairies for my Mum's garden. I was inspired by one of my favourite blogs, We Bloom Here (you can find the peg doll tutorial here). Is it just me, or are they not just a little bit magical? I can't wait to make an entire family for the garden, and maybe some for Alyce's doll house. 

Oh, right. The doll house didn't make the move. We'll just have to make a new one then. For now, these fairies will have to enjoy the garden!