It's Monday!

It's that time again, when I get all excited about the fact that it's another new start to the week. Even when summer days make every day feel like a weekend, I am still drawn to the new start of a Monday. I can't be stopped!

This week is looking decidedly less busy than the last few, where it seemed we were going on adventures every other day. We spent time on a boat, visited parks and splash pads around the city, visited with old friends, and spent three lovely days at a friend's cottage near Southampton (you can see the evidence of our cottage days in the photos today). How blessed we are to have to have friends and family who invite us to spend time together.

But I'm grateful for a little break from all the fun because my body is paying the price. I'm very sore this week, worn down, and in need of some rest. So my to do list this week reflects this need for a pause:

• Naps! I already had one today while the girlies watched a movie and destroyed the house slightly (it was worth it). 
• I'm donating blood this week and taking the girlies with me. I started donating blood as soon as I was old enough and I want to inspire the girls to do so, too. Plus they're obsessed with the human body and I'm hoping they'll think it's pretty cool.
• We are getting a yearly membership to the Toronto Zoo, so we will probably go and say hello to the animals this week. I was debating whether or not I would take them since my body is sore, but I also want some exercise, so we'll just move slowly.
• Planning our menu for our first camping trip next week! Me and the girlies are spending three days and two nights at Killbear Provincial Park with some good friends. So far the list includes smores ingredients and wine.
• I have ton of grading to do for the university class I teach. Essays and final exams galore. 
• I want to write a calendar of upcoming blog posts. I've started posting more frequently (which makes me so happy), but I'd like to devise a schedule to do more regular posts.
• Finally, I will do everything I can to avoid the heat. Ugh, July.

What does your week look like?  Are you tackling any projects? Are you planning on spending every free moment out in the sun? Are you busy looking forward to peach season as much as I am?

Be well.

xo

Taking Stock: July

Making: Socks, very, very slowly.
Cooking: Toast and fruit. It's too hot to cook anything else.
Drinking: Litres of ice water.
Reading: Stir, The Goldfinch, and Lean In.
Wanting: Central air conditioning.
Looking: For inspiration.
Playing: Lots of crazy eights.
Wishing: For summer adventures.
Enjoying: Cool showers at the end of hot days.
Waiting: For Fall, already.
Liking: Quiet mornings before the girls wake up.
Wondering: If I'll ever get to a yoga class.
Loving:The sounds of lake Huron.
Pondering: How to get started on my first full quilt.
Considering: Habits and how we change them.
Buying: Not very much because we are in Operation Pay Down Debt!
Watching: Too busy reading and writing to watch anything.
Hoping: For change.
Marvelling: At Matty's ability to make the girls laugh every single time.
Cringing: At the weather report.
Needing:A hair cut.
Questioning: My ability to live in this climate.
Smelling: Not enough beautiful scents. I think I need more good smells in my life.
Wearing: A long cotton maxi dress, navy blue, and a green headband.
Following: The girls on our way to another splash pad.
Noticing: More grey hair.
Knowing: That Alyce loves me even when she screams that she hates me.
Thinking: About some extra work for the fall.
Admiring: The gardens.
Sorting: My schedule, to fit in some exercise.
Bookmarking: Salad recipes that don't just involve arugula, cherry tomatoes and cucumber (my go-to boring old salad).
Coveting: A new bag (my favourite one broke last months).
Disliking: Sunburns, despite my best efforts.
Giggling: At the girls watching Spongebob Squarepants. It's contagious.
Feeling: Slug-like, still.
Snacking: On the brownies I made for book club last week.
Helping: Someone, I hope.
Hearing: Avett Brothers on repeat.

---
Do you want to take stock? I got the idea from Pip.

We have tomorrows for a reason

Just a little reminder, for you and for me.


The girls and I are off to the cottage for a few days, so I'll be back in this space later in the week. In the meantime, I'll be posting photos on instagram, if you want to join me over there. Have a great week!

Be well.
xo

At the end of a long day

I'm struggling today, trying to figure out what to do with Alyce. She's been all kinds of crazy (for her), pushing my buttons, speaking meanly to me, speaking meanly about herself. I feel like no one told me things could be so hard already. Just wait until the teen years, every single person tells me, yada yada yada. But what about today? What about being seven years old and having so many feelings that don't just go away when you offer a hug? I thought hugs could fix everything.

This has so much to do with me, and not very much to do with Alyce. This is one of those times when I need to put my big girl pants on and be there for her, no matter what comes up.

We are cut from the same cloth, her and I, stubborn, fiery, and at the end of the day, deeply loyal. These emotions run deep and these conflicting feelings, of being so mad and loving so hard at the same time, can make for some trying days.

Today has been one of those days.

Do you know what no one ever talks about? How much it sucks when your kid pushes you away. I've been her everything for so many years now, and all of a sudden she retreats when she's mad instead of running over to me for solace. None of this is rocket science, I know.

Most human beings push others away when they're angry, push buttons when they're upset, push all those raw emotions to the side in favour of talking calmly about them. And I know Alyce is a human, but I don't, really. I still think of her as part of me, as this tiny creature who shares my personal space. Now she's growing her own space and I'm left wondering how to navigate all this new geography.

The day is coming to an end and we can all use a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we leave for the cottage for a few days and I know all the time playing with good friends will heal today's wounds. For both of us.

Be well!

xo

It's Monday!

It's Monday! Let's get this week started.

Do you want an update on my sleep goals? It's been a rocky start. While I have managed to cool off my room to make it a more delightful place to sleep, my bedtime has not improved (except for one night, when I was in bed by ten and couldn't fall asleep until midnight). I even have an alarm set for my phone now, but so far I've just ignored it and kept on working/chatting/reading the night away. I've also brought my phone to bed with me a few times because, you guys, I'm addicted to reading blog posts in bed late at night. But I'll keep trying, because what else can we do but keep trying?

How was your weekend? Mine was filled with visiting friends and their new baby (the best), some shopping, paper grading, and splash pads. Speaking of splash pads, Matty and I had this moment today where we realized that we've entered a new stage of parenting, where all of a sudden the demands of very young children have transformed into a new independence. Like this morning at the splash pad, we lounged on a blanket under a tree and read our books while the girls splashed under sprinklers and ran around the playground. We were there for them when they needed us, but mostly we just enjoyed an hour together. These moments have been happening more and more and they are a treasure.

Our week is going to be a busy one, mostly because the girls and I are stealing away to a friend's cottage for three days and today we have plans to spend the afternoon at the Art Gallery of Ontario!

Here is my to do list for the week:

• get some blood work done (it's my year of health after all!)
• make some preparations for my fall teaching
• put together a fun road trip bag to help entertain the kids while we drive the three hours to the cottage (I'm thinking some new markers, paper, stickers, books)
• pack for the cottage!
• email some friends I haven't seen in well over a year to organize a weekend away together
• work on my sleep goals and not ignore my bedtime alarm (this might be hard at the cottage, but the other nights I am going to make getting enough sleep a priority).

What does your week look like? How are you keeping yourself entertained? What's on your list? I hope you have the best week.

Be well!
xo

Things that made me happy this week

This.

It's the weekend! I hope you're enjoying every minute of it. I am spending most of my weekend avoiding the sun and heat (who needs the sunshine when the shade is so dreamy?), while visiting with friends and chasing the girlies around the house.  And I'm already looking forward to pancakes in the morning!

Things that made me happy around the internet this week:

Permission to be gentle with yourself, especially for us anxious list-makers.

If you're too tired, just go to bed already. (This was written for me.)

These cookies. Oh, Joy, you do it to me every time.

Pie.

Because we should all have a good blueberry scone recipe.

Inspiration for a summer craft project for the girlies. Friendship bracelets are the best.

A review for a book I'm dying to read. Congratulations, Jessica!

On writing.

Be well!

xo

How many things have you crossed off your life list?

Four years ago I wrote a Life List, 100 things I wanted to do in my life. I would encourage everyone to write a list like this because it is so great to return to my list again and again and see what's changed. In four years I've crossed twelve items off my list and I'm working on a few others as we speak (I'm looking at you, number two). I like to also think about what I'd change on my list. 

In list, in process

Number one on my list is to have more children. I wrote this list around the time of Shira's first birthday and she was so easy and lovely and snuggly. I might have still been drunk on that magical baby smell, whose to say. I still want to have more children (on late nights talking over a glass of wine, Matty and I still talk dreamily of having five kids), but my feelings are starting to change a bit. I'm thinking more realistically about what it would mean to have more children while either in midwifery school or as a new midwife (one day!), and it just doesn't feel doable. I've got two pretty great children and now I've got my start as a student midwife, and I just can't do it all. My desire for more children is still there so it's not coming off my list. It might just be one of those things that always stays a possibility.

I've pretty much given up on #64, finding a way to make beans so delicious that Matty will eat them. I added this to my list originally because it's a real struggle in our house to find food that we can eat together as a family. Adding beans and legumes to our dinner table would expand our dinner options (and would reduce our food budget), but I think it's a lost cause. I even added black beans to brownies once and he refused. Sometimes you just need to admit defeat.

My list, this summer

I thought I'd revist my list this week for some inspiration for the summer ahead of us. I probably won't take any vacation with Matty (#9) this summer, or run a 10K (#45), but there are some exceedingly doable experiences I could cross off my list. I'm going to start with making my own ice cream (#81), developing a yoga practice (#67), walking somewhere every day (#30), and hosting a fabulous dinner party (#57) (who wants to join me?).

Have you ever wanted to write a life list? This is where I originally found my encouragement to make m own. Do you already have one? What can you cross off this summer?

Here's my original list, if you want some inspiration:

100 things I want to do in my life. In no particular order. 

1.  Have more children

2.  Become a midwife.

3.  Master pie crusts

4.  Spend one year in Israel

5.  Learn to knit sweaters for my girls

6.  Write my grandmother’s story

7.  Go sailing

8.  Create a workable household budget

9.  Take a vacation with just my husband. Anywhere. Before the children are in college.

10. Write a blog

11. Plan a weekend away with my best girlfriends

12. Build a Habitat for Humanity house

13.   Attend a film festival

14.  Dance again

15. Take a cooking class

16. Complete the fast on Yom Kippur

17.  Make a quilt for Alyce and Shira to share on the couch

18. Visit a haunted house

19. Get a dog

20. Go to Greece with my mum

21.  Learn a group sport

22. Take Alyce to her first dance class

23. Visit the Museum of Natural History in NYC

24. Learn Hebrew

25. Bake my own bread every week

26.  Learn how to take a great photo with a great camera

27. Take a first-aid class for kids

28. Get a bicycle

29. Help my girls prepare for their Bat Mitzvahs

30. Walk somewhere every day

31. Live in NYC

32. Keep a small garden alive for an entire season

33. Get that root canal done that I’ve been avoiding

34. Find a babysitter and go on long date with Matt

35. Learn how to can things like jam and tomato sauce

36. Take a sewing class

37.  Attend a fabulous party

38. Rent a house on the beach with lots of friends and children

39.  Join a CSA

40. Attend a writing retreat

41.Visit a good nutritionist

42. Eat French food in France

43. Attend the Final Four with Matt

44. Paint some furniture red

45. Run a 10K

46. Learn Talmud

47. Have a picnic once a week between May and August

48. Eat Italian food in Italy

49. Attend a regular yoga class

50. Create a birthday list so that I never miss the birthday of someone I love

51. Fly a kite

52. Sew a dress for all the girls in our house (myself included)

53. Explore castles and churches in England with Nicola

54. Learn to make tortellini from scratch

55. Find a the perfect pair of boots

56. Take my children to the ocean

57. Host a fabulous dinner party

58. Learn to speak French again

59. Plant a garden filled with tulips

60. Volunteer my time with mothers-to-be and mothers who need some extra help

61. Attend a concert in Central Park

62. Take a wine tour in France
63. Paint a mural
64. Find a way to make beans so delicious that Matt will eat them
65. Teach Alyce and Shira how to ride a bike
66. Build a tree house
67. Develop a yoga practice
68. Learn to cook with hot peppers
69. Spend time on a farm
70. Take a road trip with just Alyce
71. Take a road trip with just Shira
72. Take a road trip with just Matt
73. See Regina Spektor play live
74. Hang my pots from the kitchen ceiling
75. Find the perfect breakfast tea
76. Write a poem
78. Visit Amsterdam
79. Prepare for my own Bat Mitzvah
80. Read Harry Potter to my girls
81. Make ice cream
82. Swim in the Mediterranean
83. Overcome my fear of spiders
84. Then visit a rainforest
85. Write a letter to everyone who is important to me and tell them how much I love them
86. Learn to play chess
87. Volunteer at a museum
88. Make a Sunday brunch ritual
89. Read ten biographies
90. Organize my recipes
91. Take a drama class
92. Spend an entire day at a spa
93. Find the perfect black dress and pearls
94. Go apple picking
95. Win a costume contest
96. Climb a tree
97. Save for rainy day
98. Spend an entire day in bed
99. Stand in a waterfall
100. Say thank you everyday

Be well!
xo