Sunday, October 23, 2011
Dear weekend, I love you.
I'm sure I'm the first person in history to make this observation, but aren't weekends just the greatest? I will admit that in thirty-three years I never truly appreciated a weekend. Did you know how magical they are? Why didn't you tell me? I just want to run through the streets announcing my love, respect, and giddiness over the weekend. I'm not at work! I'm with my family! I'm not entering data! I love everyone!
So, this working in an office forty hours a week, it's an adjustment. First, I'm grateful for the job, even if it is temporary. We need rent money, enough said. But just because I'm happy for the opportunity to work doesn't mean that I'm enjoying myself. There are moments in my (hour each way) commute when I enjoy the quiet of the car, but otherwise I'm spending most of my day wishing I were with my family. Never mind that I've spent most of my working/studying life moving at my own pace, in the comfort of my own house or library of my choosing, but for the last almost four years I have always worked at home with my family. Even when Alyce was in daycare, we always dropped her off late and picked her up early. If I missed her I would just swing over to daycare and pick her up. But mostly we've been around the house together, making up our own fun. No, it was not always easy, and it wasn't always fun, either. I'm not trying to romanticize being a stay-at-home parent, really I'm not. All I'm saying is that returning to work after all this time is an adjustment with a capital ADJUSTMENT. My heart is still at home, and I spend the day wishing that I was there with Matt and The Children.
The changes are harder, I think, because I'm not doing the kind of work I want to do. I'm temping at an office, entering data into a computer all day long. Even my boss calls it boring work. Maybe if I were spending my days doing something that kept my brain a bit busier, or if I had a more developed interest in the job itself, the time spent away from home would be easier to handle. I'll always miss my family, that's just how it is. But when I find a job I love, I'm hoping that my heart won't break all day long. Like it is now. Well, not now, because it's the weekend. The weekend!
I keep reminding myself: this is a process. It's new and scary, but I can handle it.
I can especially handle the weekend!