Thursday, December 30, 2010

Ten Things I Learned Yesterday

The Event: a thirteen-hour drive from Canada to Delaware
The Players: Me, Matt, Alyce, Shira, the Kia*

1. No matter what I have said in the past, I want a minivan. There, I said. We have two young kids, we're thinking about having some more. Since the law requires that each be strapped into their own huge, protective bubble, there is no other option. I wish it weren't so. But more than driving a hip, non-minivan car, I want my legs not to touch the dashboard, which they did, for eleven hours yesterday. So I'll make the minivan hip if it's the last thing I do.

2. It's best not to start your trip having to turn around because you forgot Alyce's purple milk cup. We'd only driven a few blocks, but it was six-thirty in the morning and it really hurt morale.

3. Whining sounds even whinier from inside the Kia. We tried our best to ignore the whining, but trapped inside the car, we were weak. Alyce could smell our vulnerability.

4. That even in the middle of an exceptionally hard day, it's fun to steal a moment in the car with Shira. Matt and Alyce were inside the service center finding dinner, while I breastfed Shira in the darkened car. She was delighted to be released from her seat, I was happy to turn on NPR (oh how I'd missed you), and we both enjoyed some peace.

A little moonlight milk

5. I am going to google the creators of automatic flush toilets, find out where they live, drag them on our next car trip, and make them take Alyce to the potty.
I could live my whole life without ever seeing another automatic flush toilet. I know, we've all said it before, but this time I mean it.

6. Knitting helps to take the edge off.

7. All those times, long before having children, when I'd looked down my nose at the notion of DVD players in cars? We didn't need those when we were kids. Why can't people just read or listen to music--or maybe even have a conversation--instead of turning on TV yet again. I'd like to go back in time to kick myself, hard, for thinking I had any idea what it is like to take a long road trip with kids. It's shocking that no one ever beat me up.
Watching Tinkerbell.

8. The Pennsylvania Turnpike is capable of murdering your soul. And they make you pay for it, too.

9. It turns out, I'm not above calling my three year old insane. While I didn't say it to her face, I said it near her face.

10. I have never loved Delaware more than I did last night. We have our differences, but last night me and Delaware were alright.We made it home. FINALLY.

*the Kia is a teeny tiny hatchback we purchased when we lived in Toronto. We thought a small car would be perfect for city driving (it was) but we failed to consider that Alyce's car seat would take up 96 percent of the car. We certainly weren't thinking about Shira. To be young and stupid.


  1. Apparently if you put a post-it note over the sensor on an auto-flush toilet, it prevents it from flushing... Edden doesn't care, but I've heard other parents swear by this technique.

  2. post ever! Great photos, lists, concisecity (probably not a word), and hilarious! yr mah hero!

  3. Jess, loved it. Obviously.

    Eli, I wish I'd known about the post-it solution before, but I only found out after the horror had been established. Alyce loses her mind over them. On our trip I tried to bury the toilet with my coat (lovely, I know), but nothing worked. We had to drive and find a regular flush before she'd go.

    Thanks, Dani! And I like concisecity.