Tuesday, February 22, 2011


We woke up this morning to a thick covering of snow that fell as we slept (well, not Shira, obviously). But I'm not fooled, because just the other day Alyce and I discovered these poking through the ground:

When Alyce saw the snow a few moments after waking she asked me where Spring went. Sing it, sister. I assured her that the flowers growing in the back garden were terribly eager, and that it was in fact winter for just a little while longer. But only a little while. In just a few short weeks (I'm very optimistic when it comes to the arrival of spring), we will be gifted with some warm sunshine, a flower or two, and the chance to breathe some non-house air.

Along with the snow, this morning I woke up wanting to reset myself, a do-over, if you will. It has been such a transitional time around here since I decided to stop writing my dissertation and while Matt and I both look for new work, it's not surprising that life can feel a bit overwhelming sometimes. We don't know what careers we will have or in which city we will live, and we don't know when we will know any of this. There is tremendous freedom in our situation and that this is an exciting time for us is not lost on me. But sometimes this freedom feels heavy, especially when I've spent so much of my life planning (or hoping) for a certain life that isn't so certain now. I'm not the first one to feel overwhelmed with how to start over, but that doesn't make it easier. The past couple of weeks I've been feeling down about how to proceed, and I'm sure this has been made harder by the transition of being home almost full-time with the girls now. Life has felt hard some days. Life just is hard some days, I guess.

But that's ok, I can handle the rough patches, especially when I've got Matt looking out for me, trying to encourage me from the sidelines. I woke up today with not so much a new perspective, but a new feeling. Like I can feel things moving forward, in a good way. So come on, Spring. I'd like some support.

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