Here I am. My name is Danielle and this is my blog.
I’m a little surprised to be here. I’ve daydreamed imaginary posts for a couple of years now but what I didn’t imagine was actually writing something down, especially not something that I would post for the world to see (all four of you). In my imagination I stand tall and declare my charming and enlightening thoughts on being a parent, successfully writing my dissertation, and mastery in the kitchen. I wonder how that’s going to turn out for me. Not to worry. I hope this will be much more interesting. If I come out right from the start and admit that I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing, this just might work. Fingers crossed.
Most days I win. Most days I wake up with my husband and my two ridiculously adorable little girls and I win. On the best days I laugh a lot, learn some, accomplish a needed task, and go to bed feeling a little closer to the person I want to be. Most days I enjoy my girls so much I don’t know how other people go about their day not knowing them. Most days I spend much-needed time by myself cooking something delicious and enjoy eating it with people I love. Some days I just know what I want to do with my life. It will be great, I think, when I finish my dissertation! I’ll get a job! I’ll love it! Look at me!
Some days this doesn’t happen. Some days I wonder if people notice how impatient I’m feeling with my little girl. Some days I faithfully follow a recipe (usually a really big one, that serves one thousand people) only to realize that it tastes horrible. I didn’t roast something correctly, or I mistakenly skipped a step, and now I’m left with all this wasted food. Or I cook something fantastic and there isn’t anyone around who wants to share it with me. Some days--a lot of days, actually--I don’t want to write my dissertation. I don’t want to be a professor. I want something else. But I’m just afraid to say it out loud.
Most days I win, though, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.