And now she is one

Modeling the cap she wore coming home from the birth centre one year ago.

No matter how much I try to avoid it, Shira's birthday did happen. I know everyone says they don't know how it happened so fast, but why does it happen so fast? I sometimes have a hard time remembering Alyce's first year, and I wonder all the time if I'll remember the details of my days with Shira as much as I want to. Everyone always tells new parents that you're lucky to forget so much about that hard first year--the pain of childbirth, the sleepless nights, the sleepless days--but I learned the first time around that you also forget some of the good stuff. I can't remember so much of what my days were like with Alyce as a baby. I remember the events of that year (like Matt getting a job here in Delaware), but like with most things, the day to day stuff is harder to remember. I will never forget some of the really good stuff, like how her skin smelled and the noises she made while breastfeeding, but I wish I could remember so much more.

Clearly, I should have started this blog three years ago.

So with the passing of Shira's first year I'm feeling a bit down about the things I might forget. Like the sound of her voice when she yells at me for more strawberries, or the way she fits against my body perfectly when she nurses in bed with me at night, or the look on her face when Alyce walks into the room. But here's what I won't forget: how she immediately became part of our family, like she was here all along. I will never forget her sweetness and the gentle way she greeted us each morning. And I will never forget all those glorious hours we spent in bed together, my little nursling and me.

 
P.S. If you are interested, you can find some details about Shira's birth here.

Somewhere in Philly there is a giraffe wearing a purple hat

Oh, hi there.

Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but I have been around here much this week. I have three excuses for you. I think they're good ones.

1. Blogger was down for some reason. But that only accounts for one day.

2. I had a job interview to prepare for. It was my first interview ever that wasn't for a job serving beer or fancy dinners. But that's for another post.

3. Oh, and I'm moving permanently back to Canada after three years of going back and forth between two countries. In six days.

A lot has happened this week in the meantime. There was a first birthday, anxiety about the job interview, a trip to the zoo, baking these incredible cookies for a farewell lunch with a good friend (my farewell!), and the usual chasing after my children. I'll be back with some of these details soon. Right now I'm off to do some packing. A lot of packing.

I'll leave you with my favourite photo of the week. At the zoo on Wednesday Alyce wore her favourite purple hat, a recent gift from her Nana. I guess the urge was just to powerful, because the second my back was turned, Alyce thew her purple hat over the fence into to giraffe enclosure. Of course she did. 

Ten things about my day

1. I began my day being slightly irritated by Pomegranate, who didn't let blinds stand in the way of sitting in a window.

  

2. Who am I kidding, I began my day sleeping in an extra hour and not caring at all about Pomegranate. It was Matt, up early with Shira, who took this photo. I didn't become slightly irritated until later. 

3. It's beginning to hit me that I won't be spending much more time in Delaware. And by not much more time I mean next week I'm leaving for good. Am I sad to say good-bye? I'll miss some incredible people a whole lot, and there are a few things about Delaware, and the U.S. in general, that will be hard to part with, but mostly I'm just excited. 

4. It also hit me that enough with the reflection and nostalgia, and finish packing already.

5. I think my priorities might be slightly off kilter when I worry about packing up my stand mixer, because what if I need to make brownies the day before I move? What then?

6. I realized today that one of the perks of having children is being able to indulge in some delicious luxuries for the children. Like tomorrow is Shira's birthday and I declared that we really should have a birthday breakfast, with pancakes or french toast, because it is her birthday. Shira, of course, would be happy eating cat hair, which she daily.

7. I packed away, for selling or for giving away, piles and piles of books that I've been holding on to from my dissertation research. This is such a big deal that I can't even talk about it. So right now, I won't.

8. In other news, I'm seriously thinking of packing away, for selling or for giving away, our three cats. 

9.  You know how, as parents to a young baby, you sort of waffle around about introducing certain foods to your baby, because you're not sure if they can chew it or handle the carbs or the sugar or whatever, and then your baby disregards you and tackles the bowl when you're not looking, grinning at you with a mouthful of contraband food? You know what I think? It's about time someone made a decision. And it's about time that someone wasn't me.

10. Tomorrow my baby turns one. This time last year I was watching the series finale of 24, which was made all the more exciting by contractions every six or seven minutes. The next morning, Shira was on the outside. Now she looks like this:

 

Sleep well, Shira. Tomorrow is a big day.

Spring crush

I don't think it could have been more beautiful today. I'm having a huge crush on spring this year.

P.S. Sometimes I feel a bit like a dork posting all my photos online that I take with my iphone, and not a fancy pants camera (that I do hope to own one day soon). There are some stunning photos out no question (like these I found today via Pinterest). But on a day like today, when we took an impromptu after dinner walk/hill roll/chase in the field next to our house, I feel lucky to have that phone in my pocket. Because you all know that I'm too lazy to carry anything else but a baby on my back and a phone in my pocket. 

P.P.S. When's the last time you rolled down a grassy hill?

Mama

I have these two children and they know me as Mama. They both call out to me in the night when they need something, they look to me when they're hungry, and they find comfort in my arms. Sometimes they get angry with me when I hold them back or push them forward. They share things and moments with me. I share my body with them. They make me grin, they make me laugh, they make me tired.


1,025: That's how many days I have breastfed.

2: That's how many times I grew a baby and pushed her out into the world. Once in a hospital, once in a birth center. Once on a bed, once in a tub.

30,463: That's how many questions Alyce asked me this week.

How did I get so lucky?

P.S. Happy Mother's Day to my mum, one of my favourite people on the planet. Talk about being lucky.

Slightly organized chaos

This week has been all over the place. To give you some idea, I have experienced the following emotions in the past seven days: excitement, frustration, love, panic, fear, anxiety, contentment and hunger (for me, hunger counts as an emotion). There is just so much going on around me right now in order to make this permanent transition to Canada. And then there is the job search, planning for the summer, planning for Matt's abandonment of his family while he traipses around Poland, and the fact that my baby turns one next week. Pardon me while I lie down a minute.

Adding to our crazy, yesterday Shira tumbled down a long flight of basement stairs. Somehow she's just fine, with only a little rug burn on her head to show for her adventure. Matt and I were probably  more shaken up than she was, and we coped the best way we know how: dessert.

One of the highlights of our week was the Wilmington Flower Market. It was an unexpected surprise, an afternoon spent wandering around a market complete with carnival. Alyce enjoyed some of her first rides, triumphantly reaching the three feet height requirement (with an inch to spare, even). Between the rides and baby farm animals, Alyce didn't think her day could get any better. That is until she saw the fairy wings.

Our weekend plans include packing, cupcake baking (I'll use this recipe), and a birthday party for Shira and her friend, Finley, on Sunday afternoon. There will also be some Mother's Day sleeping in and breakfasting in bed! 

What are your weekend plans? If you haven't spent enough time online this week, let me help out:

Joanna Goddard's Friday lists on A Cup of Jo never disappoint.


A new place to store things you love.


Will I make this? I think I will. I have such a soft spot for birds.


I also want to make this. I think I might have a problem.


Have a great weekend!

Fortress

When in doubt, make a fort.  Invite your best friends and make sure to keep out your baby sister. Surely a good fort is the cure to a long day, when you just need a little time to yourself.

May all your forts be filled with good snacks, good friends, and a little quiet!