Mama

I have these two children and they know me as Mama. They both call out to me in the night when they need something, they look to me when they're hungry, and they find comfort in my arms. Sometimes they get angry with me when I hold them back or push them forward. They share things and moments with me. I share my body with them. They make me grin, they make me laugh, they make me tired.


1,025: That's how many days I have breastfed.

2: That's how many times I grew a baby and pushed her out into the world. Once in a hospital, once in a birth center. Once on a bed, once in a tub.

30,463: That's how many questions Alyce asked me this week.

How did I get so lucky?

P.S. Happy Mother's Day to my mum, one of my favourite people on the planet. Talk about being lucky.

Slightly organized chaos

This week has been all over the place. To give you some idea, I have experienced the following emotions in the past seven days: excitement, frustration, love, panic, fear, anxiety, contentment and hunger (for me, hunger counts as an emotion). There is just so much going on around me right now in order to make this permanent transition to Canada. And then there is the job search, planning for the summer, planning for Matt's abandonment of his family while he traipses around Poland, and the fact that my baby turns one next week. Pardon me while I lie down a minute.

Adding to our crazy, yesterday Shira tumbled down a long flight of basement stairs. Somehow she's just fine, with only a little rug burn on her head to show for her adventure. Matt and I were probably  more shaken up than she was, and we coped the best way we know how: dessert.

One of the highlights of our week was the Wilmington Flower Market. It was an unexpected surprise, an afternoon spent wandering around a market complete with carnival. Alyce enjoyed some of her first rides, triumphantly reaching the three feet height requirement (with an inch to spare, even). Between the rides and baby farm animals, Alyce didn't think her day could get any better. That is until she saw the fairy wings.

Our weekend plans include packing, cupcake baking (I'll use this recipe), and a birthday party for Shira and her friend, Finley, on Sunday afternoon. There will also be some Mother's Day sleeping in and breakfasting in bed! 

What are your weekend plans? If you haven't spent enough time online this week, let me help out:

Joanna Goddard's Friday lists on A Cup of Jo never disappoint.


A new place to store things you love.


Will I make this? I think I will. I have such a soft spot for birds.


I also want to make this. I think I might have a problem.


Have a great weekend!

Fortress

When in doubt, make a fort.  Invite your best friends and make sure to keep out your baby sister. Surely a good fort is the cure to a long day, when you just need a little time to yourself.

May all your forts be filled with good snacks, good friends, and a little quiet!

Almost

In less than a week she'll be one year old. My tiny, squishy, happy, hungry, delicious, sweet little Shira Clementine. This time last year I was coming to terms with fact that she was going to be late, laughing in the face of all our hard planning to have friends and family around to help with the transition. Plans, schmans, who needs them anyway? She arrived and we welcomed her, just the three of us.

I posted my list yesterday, one of those lists of all the things I want to do with my life. I introduced my list saying that the items were in no particular order, but that wasn't entirely true. It wasn't true at all, actually. The first item on my list is to have more children and this is what I want the most. I want more babies and first years that go by too quickly. I want more goofy grins and chubby fists squishing blueberries. I want more first birthdays.

Now excuse me while I make some birthday cupcakes. Alyce has informed me that Shira enjoys chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing. Isn't it sweet how Alyce thinks of her sister?

My List

Maggie over at Mighty Girl started a little list. She's inspired more than a few people, myself included. I've been writing out this list for a few months and I've already been able to scratch a few things off. It feels good. Very good. 

100 things I want to do in my life. In no particular order.

1.  Have more children

2.  Become a midwife.

3.  Master pie crusts

4.  Spend one year in Israel

5.  Learn to knit sweaters for my girls

6.  Write my grandmother’s story

7.  Go sailing

8.  Create a workable household budget

9.  Take a vacation with just my husband. Anywhere. Before the children are in college.

10. Write a blog

11. Plan a weekend away with my best girlfriends

12. Build a Habitat for Humanity house

13.   Attend a film festival

14.  Dance again

15. Take a cooking class

16. Complete the fast on Yom Kippur

17.  Make a quilt for Alyce and Shira to share on the couch

18. Visit a haunted house

19. Get a dog

20. Go to Greece with my mum

21.  Learn a group sport

22. Take Alyce to her first dance class

23. Visit the Museum of Natural History in NYC

24. Learn Hebrew

25. Bake my own bread every week

26.  Learn how to take a great photo with a great camera

27. Take a first-aid class for kids

28. Get a bicycle

29. Help my girls prepare for their Bat Mitzvahs

30. Walk somewhere every day

31. Live in NYC

32. Keep a small garden alive for an entire season

33. Get that root canal done that I’ve been avoiding

34. Find a babysitter and go on long date with Matt

35. Learn how to can things like jam and tomato sauce

36. Take a sewing class

37.  Attend a fabulous party

38. Rent a house on the beach with lots of friends and children

39.  Join a CSA

40. Attend a writing retreat

41.Visit a good nutritionist

42. Eat French food in France

43. Attend the Final Four with Matt

44. Paint some furniture red

45. Run a 10K

46. Learn Talmud

47. Have a picnic once a week between May and August

48. Eat Italian food in Italy

49. Attend a regular yoga class

50. Create a birthday list so that I never miss the birthday of someone I love

51. Fly a kite

52. Sew a dress for all the girls in our house (myself included)

53. Explore castles and churches in England with Nicola

54. Learn to make tortellini from scratch

55. Find a the perfect pair of boots

56. Take my children to the ocean

57. Host a fabulous dinner party

58. Learn to speak French again

59. Plant a garden filled with tulips

60. Volunteer my time with mothers-to-be and mothers who need some extra help

61. Attend a concert in Central Park

62. Take a wine tour in France
63. Paint a mural
64. Find a way to make beans so delicious that Matt will eat them
65. Teach Alyce and Shira how to ride a bike
66. Build a tree house
67. Develop a yoga practice
68. Learn to cook with hot peppers
69. Spend time on a farm
70. Take a road trip with just Alyce
71. Take a road trip with just Shira
72. Take a road trip with just Matt
73. See Regina Spektor play live
74. Hang my pots from the kitchen ceiling
75. Find the perfect breakfast tea
76. Write a poem
78. Visit Amsterdam
79. Prepare for my own Bat Mitzvah
80. Read Harry Potter to my girls
81. Make ice cream
82. Swim in the Mediterranean
83. Overcome my fear of spiders
84. Then visit a rainforest
85. Write a letter to everyone who is important to me and tell them how much I love them
86. Learn to play chess
87. Volunteer at a museum
88. Make a Sunday brunch ritual
89. Read ten biographies
90. Organize my recipes
91. Take a drama class
92. Spend an entire day at a spa
93. Find the perfect black dress and pearls
94. Go apple picking
95. Win a costume contest
96. Climb a tree
97. Save for rainy day
98. Spend an entire day in bed
99. Stand in a waterfall
100. Say thank you everyday

Do you have a list? If so, post a link in the comments. I'm a bit of a Nosy Parker.

Facebook is a boob

I am so very tired of hearing about another instance of Facebook deleting photos of mothers breastfeeding. This is so, so old, Facebook. There is a great discussion going on about Facebook's recent jackassery here (thanks Sierra Black at Strollerberby for pointing this out). Breastfeeding in public is protected across North America (and elsewhere), but Facebook gets the willies when it catches a documented glimpse of a baby's lunch on its site.

Babies need to eat. A lot. Many babies eat by breastfeeding. Breastfeeding involves breasts. End of story, or at least, it should be. There is just no other way to talk about this. Are some people offended? Well, they shouldn't be. And if they are, that's not my problem. And if I want to share a photo of myself breastfeeding my baby on Facebook, why is anyone wasting their precious time worrying about it?

I nurse about 5,928 times a day*. This is part of who I am right now. And Shira is very grateful for it. Does this give you the willies? Then you need to get out more.

*Maybe not this much.

I'm not the only one

Hille and Pomegranate

All I'm saying is that I'm not the only one in the house who could cut back on the sugar. Clearly.

I have this problem, you see. It's not just that I enjoy sugar, or food in general (who am I kidding). I also really enjoy spending a lot of time reading food blogs. I read them just for the articles, I say. But it's not true. I also covet the incredible meals people are preparing, the desserts they are creating, and the photos they take of it all. I don't just want to read about their food, I also want to make it. Of course this is, in my humble opinion, one of the most wonderful things about life. I cannot and will not subscribe any perspective that claims food ought to be valued only as nourishment. Yes, I enjoy my nutrients, but I also enjoy the taste and feel of food, and all the things that go along with sharing good food with others, whether I've prepared it myself or ordered it from menu. The moods and motivations for sharing a good meal go beyond nutrients, no matter how many vitamins are packed into that brightly coloured salad. So when I'm drooling all over my keyboard, or bookmarking recipes on my phone, I'm so often imagining the people I want to share it with, or remembering a meal I've shared in the past. So many of my best friendships have been sparked over a shared love of a kitchen table. And I will not have it any other way. So Hille, go on and eat that bowl of kettle corn you've had your eye one. I will not stand in your way.

Isn't it lovely when you sit down to complain about eating too much sugar and instead you write a love letter to food and the people who share it with you? In honour of this turn of events, here are some of those recipes I've been coveting this week:

This broccoli and white bean hummus.

I know it's spring, but I've been dreaming of baked apples all week long.

Ricotta, I love you. If you look closely you'll find a DIY ricotta recipe to go with it, which I'm determined to try out. Ok, I won't make you look for it. It's right here.

I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't point you to this recipe.