Almost

In less than a week she'll be one year old. My tiny, squishy, happy, hungry, delicious, sweet little Shira Clementine. This time last year I was coming to terms with fact that she was going to be late, laughing in the face of all our hard planning to have friends and family around to help with the transition. Plans, schmans, who needs them anyway? She arrived and we welcomed her, just the three of us.

I posted my list yesterday, one of those lists of all the things I want to do with my life. I introduced my list saying that the items were in no particular order, but that wasn't entirely true. It wasn't true at all, actually. The first item on my list is to have more children and this is what I want the most. I want more babies and first years that go by too quickly. I want more goofy grins and chubby fists squishing blueberries. I want more first birthdays.

Now excuse me while I make some birthday cupcakes. Alyce has informed me that Shira enjoys chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing. Isn't it sweet how Alyce thinks of her sister?

My List

Maggie over at Mighty Girl started a little list. She's inspired more than a few people, myself included. I've been writing out this list for a few months and I've already been able to scratch a few things off. It feels good. Very good. 

100 things I want to do in my life. In no particular order.

1.  Have more children

2.  Become a midwife.

3.  Master pie crusts

4.  Spend one year in Israel

5.  Learn to knit sweaters for my girls

6.  Write my grandmother’s story

7.  Go sailing

8.  Create a workable household budget

9.  Take a vacation with just my husband. Anywhere. Before the children are in college.

10. Write a blog

11. Plan a weekend away with my best girlfriends

12. Build a Habitat for Humanity house

13.   Attend a film festival

14.  Dance again

15. Take a cooking class

16. Complete the fast on Yom Kippur

17.  Make a quilt for Alyce and Shira to share on the couch

18. Visit a haunted house

19. Get a dog

20. Go to Greece with my mum

21.  Learn a group sport

22. Take Alyce to her first dance class

23. Visit the Museum of Natural History in NYC

24. Learn Hebrew

25. Bake my own bread every week

26.  Learn how to take a great photo with a great camera

27. Take a first-aid class for kids

28. Get a bicycle

29. Help my girls prepare for their Bat Mitzvahs

30. Walk somewhere every day

31. Live in NYC

32. Keep a small garden alive for an entire season

33. Get that root canal done that I’ve been avoiding

34. Find a babysitter and go on long date with Matt

35. Learn how to can things like jam and tomato sauce

36. Take a sewing class

37.  Attend a fabulous party

38. Rent a house on the beach with lots of friends and children

39.  Join a CSA

40. Attend a writing retreat

41.Visit a good nutritionist

42. Eat French food in France

43. Attend the Final Four with Matt

44. Paint some furniture red

45. Run a 10K

46. Learn Talmud

47. Have a picnic once a week between May and August

48. Eat Italian food in Italy

49. Attend a regular yoga class

50. Create a birthday list so that I never miss the birthday of someone I love

51. Fly a kite

52. Sew a dress for all the girls in our house (myself included)

53. Explore castles and churches in England with Nicola

54. Learn to make tortellini from scratch

55. Find a the perfect pair of boots

56. Take my children to the ocean

57. Host a fabulous dinner party

58. Learn to speak French again

59. Plant a garden filled with tulips

60. Volunteer my time with mothers-to-be and mothers who need some extra help

61. Attend a concert in Central Park

62. Take a wine tour in France
63. Paint a mural
64. Find a way to make beans so delicious that Matt will eat them
65. Teach Alyce and Shira how to ride a bike
66. Build a tree house
67. Develop a yoga practice
68. Learn to cook with hot peppers
69. Spend time on a farm
70. Take a road trip with just Alyce
71. Take a road trip with just Shira
72. Take a road trip with just Matt
73. See Regina Spektor play live
74. Hang my pots from the kitchen ceiling
75. Find the perfect breakfast tea
76. Write a poem
78. Visit Amsterdam
79. Prepare for my own Bat Mitzvah
80. Read Harry Potter to my girls
81. Make ice cream
82. Swim in the Mediterranean
83. Overcome my fear of spiders
84. Then visit a rainforest
85. Write a letter to everyone who is important to me and tell them how much I love them
86. Learn to play chess
87. Volunteer at a museum
88. Make a Sunday brunch ritual
89. Read ten biographies
90. Organize my recipes
91. Take a drama class
92. Spend an entire day at a spa
93. Find the perfect black dress and pearls
94. Go apple picking
95. Win a costume contest
96. Climb a tree
97. Save for rainy day
98. Spend an entire day in bed
99. Stand in a waterfall
100. Say thank you everyday

Do you have a list? If so, post a link in the comments. I'm a bit of a Nosy Parker.

Facebook is a boob

I am so very tired of hearing about another instance of Facebook deleting photos of mothers breastfeeding. This is so, so old, Facebook. There is a great discussion going on about Facebook's recent jackassery here (thanks Sierra Black at Strollerberby for pointing this out). Breastfeeding in public is protected across North America (and elsewhere), but Facebook gets the willies when it catches a documented glimpse of a baby's lunch on its site.

Babies need to eat. A lot. Many babies eat by breastfeeding. Breastfeeding involves breasts. End of story, or at least, it should be. There is just no other way to talk about this. Are some people offended? Well, they shouldn't be. And if they are, that's not my problem. And if I want to share a photo of myself breastfeeding my baby on Facebook, why is anyone wasting their precious time worrying about it?

I nurse about 5,928 times a day*. This is part of who I am right now. And Shira is very grateful for it. Does this give you the willies? Then you need to get out more.

*Maybe not this much.

I'm not the only one

Hille and Pomegranate

All I'm saying is that I'm not the only one in the house who could cut back on the sugar. Clearly.

I have this problem, you see. It's not just that I enjoy sugar, or food in general (who am I kidding). I also really enjoy spending a lot of time reading food blogs. I read them just for the articles, I say. But it's not true. I also covet the incredible meals people are preparing, the desserts they are creating, and the photos they take of it all. I don't just want to read about their food, I also want to make it. Of course this is, in my humble opinion, one of the most wonderful things about life. I cannot and will not subscribe any perspective that claims food ought to be valued only as nourishment. Yes, I enjoy my nutrients, but I also enjoy the taste and feel of food, and all the things that go along with sharing good food with others, whether I've prepared it myself or ordered it from menu. The moods and motivations for sharing a good meal go beyond nutrients, no matter how many vitamins are packed into that brightly coloured salad. So when I'm drooling all over my keyboard, or bookmarking recipes on my phone, I'm so often imagining the people I want to share it with, or remembering a meal I've shared in the past. So many of my best friendships have been sparked over a shared love of a kitchen table. And I will not have it any other way. So Hille, go on and eat that bowl of kettle corn you've had your eye one. I will not stand in your way.

Isn't it lovely when you sit down to complain about eating too much sugar and instead you write a love letter to food and the people who share it with you? In honour of this turn of events, here are some of those recipes I've been coveting this week:

This broccoli and white bean hummus.

I know it's spring, but I've been dreaming of baked apples all week long.

Ricotta, I love you. If you look closely you'll find a DIY ricotta recipe to go with it, which I'm determined to try out. Ok, I won't make you look for it. It's right here.

I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't point you to this recipe.

I might be her new hero

Where she sat for an hour, eyes on the princess.

Yesterday morning Matt had already left early for the gym and both girls woke up on the early side of six o'clock. Since Alyce was already wearing her crown before I opened her bedroom door (one ought to be extra careful and sleep with one's crown, because one just never knows), I thought it was time. Time to experience a princess whose last name isn't Disney. I leaned in close to Alyce, still in the dark of early morning, and whispered, would you like to watch a real princess get married?

It was so much fun just speaking those words to her. She was out of bed and in her TV watching chair before I could even turn on the lights. It felt like such a special occasion that I even gave Alyce her breakfast in front of the TV, something I'm kind of stickler about. But who cares of such things when there are princes and princesses getting married? Not me! Shira and I settled on the floor next to Alyce's chair, me with my coffee and Shira with whatever she was chewing on that day, and sat for over an hour watching the second half of the wedding. I discovered that Alyce does indeed have patience, when it involves princesses that is. She waited through long breaks without a real princess in sight, sitting quietly while the choir sang their beautiful songs, asking about 100 times where the Princess Kate was (instead of her usual 1000 times).

But the best part, my absolute favourite part of the morning, was when Alyce asked about the sparkly fabric hanging from the princess's head. I explained that she was wearing a veil as part of her wedding dress. Oooooh, said Alyce, that's so beautiful. I looked her in the eye, and with a look that let her know that what I was about to say was very important, I told her. I told her that her I also wore a veil when I married Papa. And that is when her big eyes got even wider. Wow, she said. I know, I said.

Symmetry

I found this video over at dooce this morning and I needed to pass it along. Kind of amazing, right? Out of nowhere it just seemed to stop me in my tracks.



Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.

Breathe

 We've all calmed down since Tuesday, me especially. Alyce and Shira have been up to their usual sisterly negotiations and some of the tension has left the air. This is a good thing. I've been using this time to think about what I can control in these moments of aggression and frustration, and of course, after getting Shira out of harm's way (Alyce's way, that is), the only thing I can control is me. It turns out that when you become a parent you aren't magically gifted with unending patience and serenity. I have some work to do. Thank you so much for all the good thoughts and truly helpful suggestions. It made my week.

Oh, and Alyce, please just use your words. I promise that I will listen to you. Promise.

Today we got outside. Between moments of strong wind and rain, we enjoyed the absolute green of our backyard in full bloom. And is there anything quite like the thrill of power washing on a beautiful spring day? I can't think of anything at the moment. Alyce insisted that we clean the spiders out of her enormous plastic house, and I can't blame the girl for wanting a home free of spiders. I didn't even tell her about the giant spider I saw crawling away from her slide, a spider so big that it broke blades of grass. I kid you not. But mostly we just carried our babies around for some fresh air, me carrying Shira and Alyce carrying Elmo.

We might have some moments, but she's an awfully good little mama.