Nose-bead removal tutorial

Yes, you read that right. What follows is a tutorial on how to remove a bead from your child's nose.*

I picked Alyce up from preschool today and she ran over to me, a concerned look on her little face, and said, Mama, a bead fell in my nose. Oh dear.

Her teacher looked surprised, assured me that there was nothing in the gym she could have stuck up her nose (where they were playing at the time), not realizing, as I learned a little later, that it was four hours earlier that Alyce had found a bead in her nap bed and done the only thing that made sense to her little head: shoved it high inside her nose.

I'm really surprised this doesn't happen more often.

Alyce was in a bit of pain after four hours of hiding a bead in her left nostril, but she played it strong, not wanting anyone to do anything that might hurt. She gave a C- effort blow of her nose, trying not to make any real waves in that nostril. I can't begin to describe how little she seemed at that moment. I could tell that she had been waiting for me to pick her up so that she could finally say something about the bead that fell into her nose (nice spin, Alyce). For a moment I felt a little sad for her old preschool in Delaware, where I know she would have felt comfortable enough to tell her teachers anything and everything. But she'll adjust, just as she always does. In fact, she's already declared that Piper is her new best friend (sorry, Lexy).

But let's return to the bead, so we can all learn a little something new. Having tried the nose-blowing again and the old flashlight-and-tweezers trick (that worked for us a couple of years ago in the Cranberry Incident of 2009), I realized that we were going to have to head to the hospital to get this thing out. When I finally saw the bead using the flashlight, the size of the thing frightened me. I was also not surprised that it was purple.

My mum, in her infinite wisdom, suggested that I call TeleHealth Ontario to find out if the on-call nurses had any tricks. The nurse was very serious, asking me if Alyce was breathing alright (she hadn't stopped talking, so I figured breath wasn't an issue) and if she was upset and feeling sick (she was already eating her second helping of peanut butter, so again, she was fine). I explained that Alyce was a perfectly happy and healthy three year old who happened to have a very large bead in her nose.

I didn't expect any of her tricks to work, but I stand corrected. Even Alyce thought it was awesome. So parents (or anyone who knows a child who "falls" things up their noses), study this move!

Nose -bead removal

1. Find Elmo or any appropriate squeezable dolly.

2. Pour a little saline solution in the offending nostril (I used a medicine dropper). This will make the bead a bit slippery.

3. Using your finger, squeeze the other nostril closed.

4. Inform the bead-loving child that you need to blow some air into her mouth. Wait for giggles to stop. Ask her to open her mouth a little.

5. When she opens it up wide and finds herself very funny, remind her that you asked her to open her mouth only a little.

6. Place your mouth over her mouth, and still squeezing the other nostril, breathe a puff of air into her mouth. It kind of feels like CPR.

7. Jump up and down when you realize the the bead moved a little bit!

8. Wait for giggles to stop.

9. Repeat step 6 until your breath pushes bead all the way to the entrance of her nostril.

10. With the bead almost out, push the bead out with your finger.

I'm telling you, I have never been so impressed. I still can't believe it worked. I am so grateful to the nurse who gave me the suggestion. I wish I could connect with her again and say thank you.

Alyce has promised not to put anything else her nose, including, but not limited to, the following: rocks, peas, marbles, fruit, or beads.

You just never know what adventures you'll face.

Note: I've been trying to upload a photo of the offending bead (because I know you want to see it), but I'm having technical issues. I'll post it once the problems are solved! It's up! Update: Photo added!

*Keeping in mind that I don't actually have any idea about what I'm talking about. If your child has shoved something in his or her nose, probably best to call a doctor.